Something useful: How to start with Norwegian, by someone who has!!!

Right! Something more useful now, some tips from me to anyone who finds this page on Google (Which is unlikely since I dont pay them). AHem, first I'll go through the torrent of books I have bougt on the subject, whats good, whats an emergency supply of toilet paper, you know.

Then, a list of tips I have received from very helpful friends.

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DISCLAIMER!!
This advice is no sure method! I suggest no such thing and will warn any English speakers now that learning Norwegian is very hard because most of the blighters know English in the first place! Well, English or American English (which I prefer to call FREEDOM SPEAK! apologies to any Americans reading this, if you managed to leave the land of freedom for some enlightenment.... I love you!). Indeed, it takes effort to attain what some language learners call "Immersion method" which basically entails a massive language barrier and only your wits to breach it. In essence, Its too damn easy to switch to the Queens sprakken!!!
Of course any side affects such as spontaneous enlightenment, flight, the ability to summon annoying children that say "why?" as many times as is inhumanly possible, cannot be attributed. Blame TV. I do.

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The Books!

Language books are evil. There is no two ways about this statement. The are expensive, call to question your intellect and effectively reduce you to the literal and spoken age of a four year old. Picture yourself for the first few days pointing at objects in abject bliss shouting "en Bil" at a passing car and "en brun bil!" at a passing Volvo. To the owner of the poo brown Volvo that passed me yesterday, your days are numbered.

Language books, for those of you who arnt familiar, are those shiny tombs of intellect that sit on the shelf in that part of Waterstones or Ark (i Norge) where you must were glasses and be carrying another such book to get in. In other words, find the graphic novels and then turn 180, and keep going until you reach the other side of the shop.

Be prepared to pay through every orifice people. For some strange reason, language books see fit to charge as much as a £100 pound (1000 Kr) for the privilege of learning another speaky speak. For some reason there are so many professional tourists out there (Def: Been the world over, but each visit was only for the length of a package holiday, and often just was a package holiday.) that the demand for such books goes up and hence the prices. I always thought education was meant to be free really but apparently thats socialism or something.


Teach yourself Norwegian.

This was my first book. This one made me feel all smart and invested and I admit, it was very useful. Its exercises and explanations were all semi academic (ie, not to smart, not to dum), and despite not even being in Norway it helped me prepare. However, once I got here I quickly realised I had been fooled. The book is out of date. Not like, smell bad, through away off more its granddads lingo. Language is alive, and books are designed to last. So it shouldn't be a surprise to see that the advice, grammar and many of the pronouns are no longer used by the current generations in Norway.
For example, De is the Norwegian word for they, but its use is also in a kind of royal you (or french Vous) which isnt used anymore. Also, the letter writing advice would get you called in for an interview just to check your age!

Usually priced at around £45 pounds, with CD, I would aim to get this cheaper. Its advice is mostly sound, but there is better...



Norwegian in 10 minutes a day.

AVOID AT ALL COSTS. If something is cheap and seems to good to be true, it will be cack and make you cry blood! Although it read well like a proper high school book, unfortunately it had some severe problems.
Not only did it contain many cultural errors (For example saying Jeg vil har det, is really like saying "Peasant! Give me that!" quite impolitely. Well its not that bad, but does make you seem like a poor tourist. For the record its best to say Kan jeg få det? Or even speaking in English until your sure.
Although a suitable exercise book and Ok for learning the basics quickly, DO NOT approach a Norwegian with this as your only tool. You have been warned.


På Vei.

Now this is the stuff. If you can get it. Abroad its very hard to find unless you know someone in the country, though I have heard you can buy it off the internet from Norwegian book handlers. Still it is worth the money. I got the Work book (Arbeid bok), the text book (tekstbok) and Id recommend the word book (Ordbok).
Its a lot but you get the professional set to get you started. It isnt easy because it is mostly in Norwegian but in the end, you would be surprised how helpful.
Strangely though, the CD that comes with the work book is for use with the text book, yet you also need another CD I have yet to find for use with the work book. Confused? Me too. But it is the set that a lot of Norwegian courses use over here, so there must something in it.


http://pavei.cappelen.no/

A great website that funny enough goes with the above set, is the free http://pavei.cappelen.no/ .
You can use this to play around with the language and although its more of a source of exercise and language level checking, its still useful to learn from. Give it a go! See how much you pick up!


A good rule of thumb in all of this is if the book is from Norway itself, it will more likely be uptodate and the real deal. Always avoid books designed for the aforementioned professional tourist.

Right, Im tired now, and Ive got to get my tooth drilled out again. The fun never stops! Next time Ill set up a list of bullet points of helpful advice I have gotten from friends here. If anyone wants to post a comment on the books listed here or can recommend any, feel free.

xx

Further investment and THE PLAN....

Hello again.

Yes indeedy, after my very somber post last time things have once again began picking up! Although still jobless and with income from a very unreliable job, I still have faith in what I am doing. OK its more of a "leg in a bear trap" attitude really, but it works the same!

SO... what have I been doing, and what will I do next!

I just today, signed a moderate sum of money on a norsk kurs with Oslo Folkuniversitetet, trinn 2. Very delightful group of people, who tell me that not only can I back out before with only a 500Kr penalty, but I can also change level if it feels wrong. Not bad for private. Well, public charge 5000kr to the English, probably because they only want the smart money making ones. Ha! Try and stop meh!

This course though, digressing a tad, is on monday, tuesday, onsdag, and thursdag. err. You know what I mean. 48 hours of hard core Norwegian action. Four lessons a week from 1 OClock.

Just what I need. Heck, even my lovely girl Ingrid has started me on a diet of Norwegian TV! Also, my very own private teacher will be helping me get to a point where level 2 will be possible. I get a nice certificate after it too!
Lastly, with the remaining spare time I figure I will work voluntarily with the Salvation Army, and do my money earning football job in the evening. Ahhhhh Routine, where have you been!


I dare to reckon....... this will all put me in a place where getting a contractual job is possible, if not easy!
Well, nothings easy, else it wouldnt be worth it. Still, if my only problem is the language, then the answer is simple... the language must die.

Anyway, enough positive thumping from me, I'll be back soon with something a little more visual, and maybe something a little more bloggy!

Who knows?
Who knew?

Klem!

R

Investing in the future...

Its been a long while since I posted last. It's been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. Allow me to explain.

The problem that is in moving to another country to stay is in what you are capable of. For me, it seems that everything is locked away until I can speak the tongue. It's understandable. Norway, as far as I can tell, has already had its era of being laid back to the lazyness of the "incomings."

Still, I digress. Of late my mind has been torn between caution and intent. Caution, telling me to keep my exit close to hand and pondering on the lovely familiar England. Then intent, telling me that there is only one problem I have to solve. The language. Something that apparently I am making fairly good headway on.

So. Eventually, the latter has won. Now I have two odd jobs to keep my money coming in, which is something considering. I am also joining a norsk kurs from Folksuniversitat in the aim to catch up with three weeks intensive courses. Either way, this is my intent.

It needs to be said though, that none of this would be even remotely possible without my girl Ingrid. Though, I do have my family back home ready to support me if I need it.

Strangely, I found out recently that I havnt contacted my family for too long. My father was worried I was on the streets! Makes you think just how easy is it to forget your not alone.

Anyway, this is a bit sombre in tone today, but hopeful. To those who know what I'm blabbering about, you're not alone. To those who don't, try it, it's not so bad to charge into something different.

My advice to anyone comming over without any erm "special skills," is to acquire as much learning on Norwegian as possible. As I said, this is really the only true obstacle in getting work here. Well, I say true obstacle. Its just as difficult as anywhere.

Anyway, thanks for reading, apologies about the lack of detail and I'll get back in touch soon.

Rik

Three weeks... (And the police are idiots...)

Well, as expected but not quite in this fashion, my time here is growing short. It is a long story, so bear with me.

Last week my girl Ingrid had a rather strange phone call from the police who demanded access to her flat. She was told not to contact anyone else regarding the matter. When her flat mate turned up, the police followed her in saying not only had the place under survailance, but that they had a warrant to search the premises.

All very scary.

They never showed the warrant (though admittedly Ingrid's flat mate was so shocked by the whole ordeal that she never thought to ask!), and went to half arsed search. It was apparently evident that they had got the wrong address.

When asked, a police man apparently said:-

"we were expecting a drugs nest of Africans."

....

I'm not even going to go into how bad that one little bit of wonderful dialogue is. However, despite asking to confirm the address they WHERE IN, when told the street, the police person then repeated the WRONG street name. Then, the police continued searching for another few moments and left. Let me be clear about this. They went through all of our most personal and intimate belongings.

They also asked about me. What did they ask you say?

"How ethnic is he.
He's british.
Still, how ethic is he?
..."

Thank god they never saw me... lets just say my erm "black irish" roots make me a little of the "durka durka." Savee?

When we inquired further it turned out that the police dept handling the investigation was on the other part of outer Oslo.
WTF?!

Now I'm obvisioly missing out some details here quite frankly because I think my Ingrid and her flat mate have had their personal space invaded quite enough. But you see, there in lies the problem....

Not only is the poor old landlord worried, now the flat mate has quite understandebly decided to quit the place. She will be gone by November. Not just this, but again quite understandebly, the Land lord is showing concerns and we will now have to honour the Subteneant law by ensuring Im sorted in...

You guessed it... 3 weeks.

Do or die marine Hoohaa!
Hell, ultimetily either I will still be here and all jobbed up or Ill be going home.

So!
All quite dramatic. Very American. Sorry, I'll save the pseudo racism for the professionals shall I?

Now, I'm converting my CV into norwegian, (which was hilarious because I have the vocab of a five year old!!), and then Im visiting the local barna hager!
At this point, Im going for it. Ingrid is looking for a little somewhere for me to live alone for a few months while I look for the permanent income to pay for it! :) After all, we are team Ninja-badger-pirate!

No Ingie, we are not team hobbitz.
Ok maybe.....

Phew, rant over. Wish me luck yaal! Cant wait to see you Bloggers next 18th July! (If its still on?).

Oh and I went to Tysen Fryd!
More on this soon...

Takk!

Busy, Busy and very lost!

Wow, what a week its been! Where do I start... Ah from the beginning!

Ny jobb!
So a distant relative of Ingrid's gets in contact with us about a job for me, which is spooky because noone told him I was in need of one. He speaks to me over a mobile phone from Malta, and tells me he needs me to be a Football commentator.
I'm not religious, but if God exists hes got a sense of humour alright. I'm about as football mad as a brick, though to be fair, I've known some "bricks" who were football fans.
So, as I dream about fearfully commentating like them on TV, the next day he emails me and explains its for an internet betting agents.
Still, its money.

And getting there!? Bloody hell! Not only did I get the time mixed up and thought it three hours earlier (which strangely helped), the match had been moved. I spent about 200Kr on bus travel and the ticket and if my maths is correct, spent over four hours on a bus or waiting for one.
Ouch.
Still, its money.

So, my first game? A womans match at Telanor Stadium for the fantastic Stabæk Vs Arnø-Bjørna (sp?) match. The stadium was large, with only the hardest of the hard core fans, and there was me with my big backpack (dont go anywhere without it), shouting down the phone things like "Danger Home." Etc. Went through two phones batteries and had a fantastic time.
In the end, persivearing paid off in that it felt worthwhile, and the money I'll get will pay for the travel costs at least.
Heh, now I can say I used to do this for a living.
But I'm not stopping here...

"I have a dream!"
After talking with a good friend of the family, it seems Norway is in great need of "male" teachers. Especially in kindergarten. The reason I have quoted the male there is that here in Norway they believe that both males and females need to present as a child grows up, just like in a family. Im no psychologist or whatever, but they also didnt have the massive media hyperbole we had back in the early 90's about Gary bloody Glitter and his "lot." You know what I mean.
Anyway, I figure that I want to reignite my old desire to be a teacher (stop laughing at the back!), but of course while my Norwegian is still coming along, its best to start small. Literally.
Turns out I have the basic qualifications anyway and anything I need I can learn on the way there or during.

First time I actually have a martin luther you know what I mean?

Anyway, got a fish curry to start and another match to go to.

Thanks for reading.

R

Boredom is the great enemy. (That and badgers...)

Bored. Very, very bored. I knew this was always going to be my greatest enemy here in Norway but how right I was I did not know.

I recently read an article on the "immigrant spirit" of Americas golden age. Back in the days of Ellis island and all that. Having read about the determination and single mindedness, it really got my zoom back. I suppose its all about attitude, and lets face it, English culture really emphasises the put down.

On the tooth front, I am gonna need two more Operations in August it seems. Got a temp filling that feels like tip ex in my mouth. Erk. Still, at least its sorted. For 4800Kr. Not too expensive considering the prices of the wonderful British NHS. Whats more interesting is the two apointments are not until August, so I guess its another reason to make sure this move works.

Leg in a bear trap. Nothing more motivating.

Yes, yes. Anyway, my pursuit of any form of job has taken an odd angle. As language is now virtually essential, I figured I might as well do something useful with my time (as opposed to watching TV, shudder), so I have been enquiring for voluntary work at local schools. Although at the moment Im sorting out some form of income, what I really want to do is start in the education stuff.

My first email went off today to the Oslo international school. I hope I can get some good exprience while Im not doing anything with my time! Wish me luck!

On other war fronts, Ive asked Ingrids mor, to help me with my listening Norwegian. Seems I can translate written easily enough but the hearng bit I lack practice in. I wonder if setting up a "language group" of friends could work? You know get a group of people at different levels all learing the lingo, come together each week to practice talking with each other. Sounds partly stupid, partly genius. "Stupius!"

So, anyone reading this who is in Oslo and likes the idea of a "language group" let me know. Or else please feel free to through critic at me like all the mash potato.

I miss mash potato...

Toof ache....

Well.... whats the one thing you dont want to happen when youve just moved to a far away strange place? Appart from being keel hauled by the rampaging and very famous badger pirates, there is also toof ache!!!

It is the one low end ailment that will stop any attempt to do the fun stuff in the day, not to mention the important stuff! Like, eating, studying norsk, sex, you know!?

ANyway, got handed this magic stuff (as opposed to the other magic stuff which was like rubbing snot in my cheek, which funnily enough warned for no "mucas membrane contact"), which helped tremendasly. Except as I later realised, its designed to stop gingervitus.

Bollocks.

ANywho, nursing myself through the third day, being reminded just how much of a pain wuss I am. (Sorry for keeping you up baby!) Its wierd, but I think I would take a bullet just to stop this. I might be wrong, but I would.

Scary.

Well, that feels much better. Thanks for reading.