Monday, 31 May 2010
One Year Anniversairy
(As an aside, have to say, Pete Waterman needs shooting for that travesty of music, and lets be honest, did anyone else notice that the English "dancers" were all drunk during the show part of the night? So embarrassing.)
Anyway, just as I was prepared to settle in for a night of eurotrash, my good friends surprised me with a gift an a hug, congratulating me for a job well done. Interestingly enough, those good friends will have been here a year in July sometime, so maybe a tradition can start for this? If I could coin it, I call it Invaders day, celebrating one year as an Invader, or immigrant if you like. :)
Anyway, for this years Anniversairy (a word I always struggle to spell) Ive decided to write up something of an appraisal. Maybe look back at past posts, events and memories and maybe go through the steps and travails I took to get this far. If I read it tonight, I should be able to write something up tomorrow.
Until then. If youre reading this and you yourself are an Immigrant in Norway, ask yourself, when is your Invaders day?
Rik
Saturday, 15 May 2010
The Curious case of a lost F*&^ing wallet!
Crap.
Well, writing it all off I counted the losses and went home, myself and my girl very damnably depressed Still its easier to deal with once you accept that there was nothing you could do.
Reaching home I went through the process of cancelling all my bank cards, taking advantage of the Norwegian 24hour stop system. Then, again, taking advantage of Norways massive trend of interenet banking, transferred money around so I could access it before 17th May celebrations!
Now all of this was going through the motions. But yesturday I recieved a very special phone call. Now this would never happen in England I'm mostly sure, but I recieved a phone call from a very excited bus driver who had found my wallet. Not only this, but she wanted to get it to me as soon as possible, trying to make arrangements to drop it off at my local station!
All of those days, chasing after a bus that leaves when your within inches of reaching the door has been forgiven! I cancelled my cards but hey, its the thought that counts right?
SO if you ever lose your wallet or "lommerbok", follow the following course:
1/ Cancel all bank cards via the internet or phone call. I would recommend that your mobile phone has such emergency numbers already on them.
2/ Contact your local bus terminal (or Traffikanten if your unsure), and tell them what bus you were on and when it was running. Sometimes apparently they can get the bus to drop it off the next time the driver comes by, if the wallet is found.
3/ Go back two days later to ask about it. Very often you will be given a set of numbers depending on what buses you had used, phoning these "lost and found" centers is a very direct approach.
Overall the experience of losing your important belongings is slightly different in Norway. Overall you are less likely to be frauded or have the cards taken, usually because such a safe system of stopping said cards exists. But dont panic, follow the above and you will be fine and writing blog posts about the ordeal in no time at all.
:)
Tuesday, 11 May 2010
And in other news...
- I'm still waiting for my drivers license,
- Soon I'm going on holiday... back home!
- And, I've actually been here around 11 months as I arrived last June. Which means next month is my Immigrants Anniveresy! How to celebrate...
Drivers License.
Using the ever helpful services of Biltilsynet, I decided a while ago to change my English drivers license into a Norwegian one. Time was against me, as at the time I had but a few days to send it back to England for a new picture. Which, I was told by someone official in England, was pointless as I was living abroad. So, I quickly rushed over to my local Vei Vesson (sp?) to hand in my details. That was about nearly two months ago... I really should find out how that went!
A holiday back home.
From the very first moment my foreign feet touched tarmac at Torp airport I dreamed of using the Norwegian wage to fund a mass spending spree holiday back in England. Fate as it would seem, thought this would be fun too and thanks to the current climate pretty soon I "should" be returning to England with some money to buy things either unavailable (Read Aunt Bessies Yorkshire Puddings) or a damn sight cheaper in England (Read just about everything!). They say no plan ever survives contact with the enemy. I'll let you know how that goes. :)
Immigrants Annivserery? That and other traditions coming soon!
My family has never been one for traditions. Not because of some high brow sense of place, nor any form of spartan thinking, oh no, my folks came from Huyton Mofo! >:) However, since coming to Norway I can't help but feel rather than lacking, and rather than taking pølse off children every 17th May etc I feel its my responsibility to me and my own to establish some new traditions. This is after all a land filled with them. Here, a man can shamelessly wave the Union Jack without connotations to white skinned cueball headed neo-natzis and allround jew hating scum bags. Here, a man can actually explore what remains of English culture, the way he was meant to: by comparing it to other culture with a sense of dark witted arrogance. "I want my cup of tea in a CUP, not a GLASS, with MILK and a ton of SUGER! If it doesnt give me diabeties it don't count!"
So. Upon finding out that I had nearly been here a year, I decided very quickly that it was call for a celebration. Well, at least a reason to get drunk anyway (By the way has anyone seen what happens when you say to a Nord "I hope you get adequatly drunk?" Wierd.). More importantly, this concept couldnt be selfishly kept, oh no!
SO! My ExPatriot and soon to be ExPatriot friends! I call to you! If you have survived the culture shock, the Cuisine Le Anglais food crisis that is to be without proper gravy, the horribly and sensibly priced alchohol, the over bearingly polite to pedestrain drivers, TEA IN GLASSES, if you have survived a year, be it your first or another, celebrate. If we celebrate surviving a year on our birthday, surely this advancement in the survival process requires something extra. But wait! This day requires a name! Something catchy and memorable, that demands songs and antics that can be handed down to new arrivals.
Ideas?
Where to begin.... Again. (Language rant)
Where am I going with this? Around in circles. But not it seems in a bad way. Many Language coarses prech repetition. Remember the lines you had to write on the board in school, a hundred times: I will not put an angry cat in teachers bag? (What just me?). What you might of experienced there was the most basic form of education, kinesthetic learning. IE learning by physically doing it. My late French teacher once said that all things could be memorised by three simple steps. Reading, saying and writing it down, over and over again. Unless you accidently become an adept scribe, great at copying written works without actually reading them, it should help. many special needs kids go through this and hell if it works for them it works for you.
But I digress. What am I ranting about now? I have been here for around 9 months now and counting. I have achieved arguable quite a lot in terms of language acquisition it seems. However, even now I still screw up the most basic of things.
Pose. Bag. Vil du få en pose? Would you like a bag? I say it a lot in my current job and dear god how I am sick of getting it wrong. Having a customer standing infront of you wondering god knows what. (Would you like a pause with that? Would you like a pussy cat?) The problem lies in the utterances. The vowel O can be said in many different ways thanks to many languages and dialects, slangs and candences. WTF eva. Where I come from, we don't use that particular vowel sound required to say the word bag in Norwegian!! So, I must practice making a funny face while I try to make that sound that my ears are not trained to hear and my mouth it seems is not trained to make. Yet there is hope. Today, my readers. I said it right. I did a little dance! Im telling my those who read my blog even. I dont expect any of you to understand but I kind of hope one day you might.
So what advice can I give from this experience? That those circuits I talked of always return to the starting block? That no matter how good you get, revision is required? hard truth Im afraid.
Try this. http://www.omniglot.com/writing/norwegian.htm
The guy to writes on this website has learned about 8 languages fluently and countless as a side project. But this page describes Norwegian and even lets you listen to the alphabet and those pesky dipthong thingies. Say them along as you hear it. Leave it a day, go back and see if you can say the letter sounds a minisecond before they do. Are you right? If you leave it another day do you get better?
Bottom line is, if you can remember the alphabet. You CAN learn the language.
/Rant.
Thanks for reading.
Friday, 23 April 2010
"Desperation is what you need, doo do do dooo dooooo"
I recently helped friend from England get his first job, and while my inner trumpets are playing and (if I was religiously inclined) my place in ahem, the place upstairs is set, I mention this not for praise. Oh no. In Norway it seems, networking is key. The expression "its not what you know but who" has never been truer. Indeed, I can honestly say that most of my jobs have been found through friends and friends of friends. I've done the work of walking around Oslo, despressingly handing out CV's like some student whose just discovered council tax, I've found myself praying for easy jobs that rely on English speakers. Choose your own path. I recently passed on a job opportunity from one friend to another who needed one, now shes working in an English company in Norway playing on mobile phones all day trying to crash them. Makes you think how it would have been, testing Windows Vista in the same way.
Take my latest misadventure for example. Last mentioned I was cleaning floors and toilets and earning a reletivly tidy some for it. So I ask you: Why did I move on to a job in a book store, several miles away in Lillestøm where barely any English is heard? Where I am expected to perform like anyone else and understand enough norsk to survive?
Desperation. Pure and simple. I've been searching for the sacred "Immigrants Attitude" since I got here, that thought pattern that makes the difference between a man from a war torn country that works his ass off every day, learns the language and provides for his family, and the man who comes from a rich background and gives up 'cus its too hard. No offence meant, but I am fed up, sick to death with reading bloggs and such about people who claim Norway is too hard to live in. I'd love to give my whole account, but that is another story...
Working in an enviroment which DEMANDS norsk to survive, is a remarkably effective way of forcing your mind to "up the game." Obviously it doesnt work without the SUPPLY that studieing provides, but you can be damn sure that you will memorise the words you use before others, and here I use quite a few new ones every day.
My advice for anyone wanting to make the difference is to volunteer to work your free time in Norwegian environments where you can pick up more words and tune in to the lingo.
In regards to my new job though, it is HARD. Every day, at least twice, a situation will come along where for all intents and purposes I am a child/dog/pokemon as I stare in utter incomprehension to what a customer is saying. So far it hasn't lost me the job, though luckily, a combination of daily studying is keeping me afloat. So far. All I can say is wish me luck, and Ill tell you all about it.
Thanks for reading.
Og min sjef gir meg vaffle og kopp te i dag!
Jeg bestempte meg at jeg like det her!
Også, Google translator er hjempe farlig! :)
Saturday, 20 March 2010
Long time no post!! aka I'm still alive!
Apologies all round for my tardiness. It never surprises me how easy it is to simply lose interest in something. Then again my attention span was nev
I am now in a flat, with furniture, heating and all the modern comforts. After some agonisingly complex organisation my belongings have finally begun the shipping process. Only the dreaded weekend keeps my toys (and clothes) in a warhouse somewhere south of Hull, awaiting my completed passport and custom details. One hurdle after another. By the way, I recommend Tuder freight, very accesable, though as with any freight service, take the qoute they give and double it when planning ahead. Learn from my mistakes.
Had a bad surprise the other day too, in the same week I discovered that my freight cost wasnt 220, but £470 I learned that my English bank had decided to freeze my account so my direct debit from my credit card bounced causing unnecesery charges. Dont even bother with HSBC's customer help line, unless you think a poorly paid Asian worker can empathise with you about your situation in Prescot. I understand out soarcing and all that but sheesh, get a grip!
Anyway, a few phone calls, internet access and fantastic parents later all is coming together.
I love you guys.
So after living for almost 9 months out of a suitcase (plus what I brought over on my last trip to sunny, ahem, Liverpool) I will soon (should) have my things!!
Some of you may understand what Im talking about.
Job hopping (With the occasional skip)
Toilets to books. They say that job hunting in Norway is about who you know, more than what you know. There is some truth in this. SO far in Norway Ive worked as a commentator on the local matches (less said about that the better), security in a Norwegian "pub" (its not a real pub, not really) and barnehage vikar. I recently got a part time contract working as a cleaner. Not exactly exotic but it paid well and the people there where fantastic. I really got into that "Immigrant" attitude, not the percieved one of blatant ignorance and laziness but the truer one of hard work (/discuss). Now, Ive recently acquired a vikar work with a book store! Talking to customers! OH dear god! (read the section below for more details about the OMG)
The point Im tryng to make however, is that all of these jobs only happened because of connections. Networking, is a common activity in Norway, as far as I can tell. Though not the cold and cocktail studded, party ridden whoring one might think of in the acting circles of Hollywood, oh no. In Norway it seems more natural, more of a side affect of making friends. Do I feel lucky? Hell yes, I have many great friends in Oslo.
The language barrier Vs the high jump.
Learning a language is a funny, thing. Especially when you go from feeling thick headed and useless one minuite to realising how far you have truly come. Far from the obligatory "your Norwegian is really good/ du er så flink med norsk!" I'm talking about the moments when you note that some words have stuck, have been learnt even. Its a good feeling. The point is that learning a language takes a lifetime. Learning to communicate doesnt.
Its all in increments, scratching a word or two at a time. I do believe that even if you dont try, sometimes you can't help but pick up on something. Its nothing to do with intellect (thank god) but rather a natural instinct we all have since the time we learnt our first language. Sound, word = meaning. Multiple words means a concept, etc.
For me though, while I can prattle away like a proper hill billy, hearning the Norwegian is still my weak point. Hopefully a combination of radio, constant conversation, reading and the usual studying will make the difference I need for this new job.
Did I say usual studying? I lied. In truth I had a ahem, break for a month or so while I became distracted by more mundane things like work, money and snow. Remember: Reward yourself for every victory.
Anyway, its good to be back, and maybe next time, Ill tell you a secret....
:)
Missed you!
R
Thursday, 7 January 2010
New Year, New Rules.
Apathy is death.
Its easy to unconsciously give up. As a man (Yes I used this line), it hurts not bringing in the majority of the moneys in a relationship. Call it what you want, primative hunter gather instincts, masojionistic upbringing whatever. The point is, I still dont feel like Im trying hard enough.
So. This year will be a fresh start, a second wind if you will. With a diet, excercise regime, a planned Norwegian acquisition system (if it sound complex it will work right?) and push on the job seeking front. All these things are connected. If your in another country languishing on partime or vikar work while you figure out what to do, waiting for a lucky break; you should know what I mean. As usual its all about attitude. Now I know that this blog is about me (average joe brit) trying his luck in Norway, but keep reading and you will see how its all connected. Its something I call the "immigrants spirit."
Diet and excercise?
These are things I dont actually need, more want. Its the discipline really. The excercise every morning, 30 minutes and pushing more and more each day with a break on sunday. If I dont sweat, I wasnt pushing hard enough. At least, thats the plan so far.
Food wise, Im giving up all sorts and trying new things. Nothing insane, only stuff I know I should be able to give up on. Chocolate, beer, carbonated drinks, carbohydrates halves and a list of food swaps.
Last night the hunger aches finally stopped. Not sure if this is a good thing but its not like Im starving myself so we shall see!
Apathy is death.
Norwegian and job seeking.
Right now I can have basic conversations in Norwegian, even so far as to use past tense, future tense, perfect tense and eiendoms pronomens. All good. But I realised that Im falling down on my vocabulary. If I dont know the word I wont recognise it when I hear it, nor be able to write or say the damn thing! So, flash cards. Yup, cheap card rectangles, English on one side, Norwegian on the other. Taking about twenty words every three days Ive been able to memorise the parts of the body and locations around the flat. Using them in conversations is REALLY important, think of it as reinforcing it. I was aiming for 100 words per month but I seem to have hit onto something, so we shall see.
Irregular verbs and nouns are going to be the bitch.
Although a friend keeps telling me "I can get you a job, when your Norwegians good enough", that is the long term aim. RIght now, two job agencies are my target. See if asking them to help me out is a good idea. Worse they can say is no. Oh, and dont bother with NAV. Unless you expect to be disapointed and leave feeling like your a hated bloody immigrant. Lovely people. Probably just the luck of meeting a particular set of people, but... no.. this is a subject for another post.
Good news is that I can now start perusing Finn.no with some hope! As usual though, its not what you know (language being the exception to this rule), its who you know. Still, every angle needs to be covered.
Apathy is death. This is my moto for this year, I hope you like it. I keep repeating it to myself, to remind myself that lounging around not developing as a person is apathy and if thats all you do, you might as well die. Harsh but true.
Again thanks for reading. I apologise for the soberity of this post, as I mentioned before, attitude is everything. These days I seem to be very serious.
Right there with you,
Rik.
PS
Really looking forward to the mentioned future blog meet, if someone could forward me the contact details again I will try and get involved, thanks!