Moving to Norway. A hobbit's tale.

Laiv and death.

2011-03-29T10:35:00.000-07:00

The hall was made of the traditional wooden build, the solid shaped tree trunks still visably laid upon one another. It was for some reason more reasuring than the usual brick and mortar. I looked into my drink, a wierd mix of cordial with spices and water. Apparently it was rum. It certainly got my pirate friends drunk enough.
There was a loud bang. SHouting. Somone was bearing hammered in the face by a tall man bearing nought but a animal skin. SOmeone had irritated the wood bandits again. One of the society types by his dress, except now it was covered in food, drink and bits of table. My table shook as the bandit threw his opponent to the ground and beat his chest in victory. My sword shook in its scabbard.
I sighed. The night had started so well...

Norway is full of culture. Pick any spot and you will be assured to find something in eyesight. But underneath the history and the more modern asthetics you can find something akin to those secret societys you read about.
My girlfriend, who you might have heard is Norwegian, is also a Laiv player.

Laiv, is a unique word, created to distinguish this secret past-time from the more common LARP (Live action roleplay) which one can find in other countries. While LARP is known for running around a field with fake fantasy equipment shouting "fire damage" with every strike against your foe, Laiv is seen as less action, more acting. COmbat, soft or otherwise is not as common and is reserved to those blessed with a profession or hobby which allows them to perform a combat like scene. In our group we had several professional wrestlers, sword fighters, singers and stage performers all versed in making you wonder if what they are doing is real!
This isnt to say that traditional LARP is rubbish, but an altogether different beast. That said, the line is murky at best.

Anyway, I was invited to join my girl on a Laiv called "The Brotherhood." Inspired by several great movies such as The Brotherhood, Cut Throat Island, Casanova and beyond, it contained many groups of theives from highwaymen to pirates. The plot? Since the death of the Thief Kind/Queen, wierd things have been occuring, driving the clans to come together to honour the ancient code which demands a regent. But with backtabbing, bribary and more strange unexplainable events, its going to be hard to get everyone to agree on who!

Clad in some fantastically hand sewn gear that my girlfriend actually put together a year before (another event), and toting my own sabre (which I would not use as it was a bit pointy) I joined my own group of Pirates on a weekend being someone else!

Now language was an issue at first. This was my first Laiv and although it was relaxed in terms of requirements (Norwegian was set as the secret thieves tongue, english as english) there were occasions of confusion. However, these wonderfully talented Laiv'ers that have been doing this a long time, each adapted in their own way. Have you ever heard Norwegion in a french/russian or even a German accent?

Have you ever seen someone scream so loud it hurt and begin drawing spirals in the snow in their own blood?
The special affects where amazing, and often in my own tired state I looked twice. Arguements, comedy, danses, drunkeness (real and not), duels, sex (mostly not real:D), betrayels and Svølk!! (In joke). Over the two/three days we all donned appropriate clothing and were in character. It got so real that I actually realised, if I needed to go home (we were in the middle of nowhere, in a camping site with loads of wooden houses, 15" snow), noone around me would even know what a car was!

Of course there were safe words, one that changed the scenes direction and one that stopped it entirely. Neither were used. Testiment to the quality of the players and the organisers.

But I digress. The point I was trying to make, was that this Laiv culture is big. Lying just under the surface, this little past time has had a few books, fiction, photo art and entire wiki databases dedicated to it. Mostly its historical period works, others are low fantasy or science fiction, with the emphasis always more on the charactor than the weapon he/she carries. About 50/50 male/female players. This thing stretches across the whole of scandinavia and beyond.

For me? I caught the bug. I wasnt the best player, in the later half it was so easy to forget my character amid everyone elses and be swept along from mysterious events like poison without cause and playing turncoat on my ship crew. My next Laiv has already been paid for.

Death.

Sadly this month has had sad events too. Recently I was told my grandmother passed away. Now this is a personal thing so forgive me if I don't go into too much detail. I will say this however, that one of the greatest emotional obstacles with living abroad is actually dealing with being away from home when something happens.

When tragedy strikes, there is no quick hug, reasurrance or anything of the kind spare a phone call. Organising an emergency trip home for the funeral can also be a trial of logistics and money. Every level of life is effected from friends to work. One minute you are hanging on every minute waitng for some information and then your rushing to get home. Ryan Air, you suck.

As it is, once again I was spared from too much turmoil by my adopted family over here. Not just Ingrids family, but friends that don't even realise they help with a word, a hug or a distraction. You know who you are.

Thanks for reading.

A year and a half ago, I came to Norway. I made it.

2011-02-08T04:09:00.000-08:00

Hi guys. Please accept the usual torrent of apologies from a bad blogger with too much time and too little to write about.

In truth, the only reason I am writing this right now is two fold:

One, a nice chap came over from Scotland and for some reason, after reading this Blog thought it would be wise to ask me for help getting settled. I hope I have, but the point is, he hasn't been the first.
Indeed, since making this poor excuse for a Blog I have been introduced to some like minded amazing people, who have for one reason or another (mostly the other) have emigrated to Norway. At the time, I began it simply because I couldn't find anything like it. It seems like I have filled a hole. I hope someone does a better job!
Anyway, I suppose what I am trying to say is that this gentleman reminded me of my duty (can I say duty?), to anyone trying to make that move. I have to keep writing. Even if I have finally begun to feel like I have made it here...

Two, I managed to find time to write this while working my new shiny job.

THATS RIGHT PEOPLE!

JOB! Now before anyone starts complaining, let me say this: After over a year of trying to cost as little as possible for a sweetheart who paid for my every basic requirement, working loads of odd and some unpleasant jobs just to get enough money to pay for the food, working as a cleaner and walking home after midnight twice a week in Winter no less...
You'd be happy too.
Or you would be stupid.

Allow me to explain. A few weeks back, I was walking down Karl Johan's gate, trying to ignore the shiny stuff in the shiny shops, when my phone rung.
One of the applications I had sent off had been well received. In fact, so much so that I was dragged in for an interview the next day and began work the day after. Unfortunately, they needed me early and I couldn't stop suddenly working my cleaning job, so I had to work both for two weeks. Tough but I'm sure you will agree, very worth it.

But what do I do??

Something called an Innkjøpsmeddarbeider. Which translates roughly (roughly mind) as import worker. I work in an office (after cleaning them it makes a refreshing and surreal change) and process and follow up on all the books imported from abroad. Its a tough job. I've had to learn a complicated computer system in Norwegian, so much so that when I had the option to switch it to English, I turned it down because I was too far gone. Plus, how hard would it have been to discuss the system with a Nord when all the terms where called something else.
Wierd.
It is after all, just a 6 months contract. It was either this or a permanent position as a cleaner. I'm not going to be so be so arrogant as to say I chose this job because it is less embarrassing. If you have worked in the "Renhold" sector in Norway you will discover entire immigrant families working in it earning more than my old boss in England. Whose laughing now eh? However, I needed something that could help me grow and quite frankly, I promised myself an office job.

Got one.

So have I "made it"?

Its a question which I've asked myself a lot these past few weeks. What does it mean to have "made it" in another land? When does this Blog become pointless?
I've learned a lot of the language. Enough it seems to do this job. It isnt fluent. It isnt even amazing (although many polite locals always impress that it is, they are just being polite sadly. Though its nice to hear.), but enough.
Regardless of if I get to keep this position or not, I have earned the contacts, the experience, and most importantly, enough money to invest in my future.
Im thinking of more language courses of coarse. But, my past experience with them is so bad, I wonder whether that would be just procrastinating on the problem.

I must admit that since Christmas, our Norwegian club has faltered and my own studies have pretty much stopped. I learn new words at work, though natural acquisition, but I know that I must soon get back on that wagon. It never ends. You just change the method you study.

Also, was it really that special? One big reason I came over was my girlfriend, who I met and ahem, fell in love with a while back. She really was responsible for much of my initial success, if not all by default. Without her I wouldn't have had a place to stay, nor a beginning for my "network" of friends and contacts. Hell, I wouldnt have even bothered if not for her. While not humble enough to cheapen my own efforts, it still points out something.
Moving over without friends/contacts is much much harder!

Money!?

Yes. Penger! After a brief scare with the student loans company, (they are really nice people once you get past the paper), I was relieved to be left with quite a bit of money just sitting in my bank. After months of becoming adept at costing so little, I couldnt think of a thing to spend it on.

What had happened to me!? Is this the "immigrant thinking" that I had heard about? Well, regardless, I had planned a holiday home. Though visiting my family, I think a shopping trip is in order. After all, everything is dear in Norway.

To sum up.
Because I don't know when I will post again, or what it will be about (Though any questions can be sent to me.):
If you are moving or thinking of moving to Norway, and you haven't got a special skill or whatever, it is still possible. Patience, determination, good friends and the right attitude. Its all you need.

This is me signing off, still undecided on whether I have made it in Norway.
Ill keep you posted.

:D

Still alive. Still here. Oh and the blood thing.

2010-11-17T07:14:00.000-08:00

Its been a while since I recieved that student denial thingy. Thankfully, it wasnt fatal. Infact I felt so bad about the whole mess that the morning after I woke up thinking, hey, Im still alive. After laughing to myself I decided that I might as well use this annoying endurance to bad events and try something else.

You can quote me on that.

Sheesh.

Well, like the line says, Im not out of the game yet. In fact, I recently got some more work cleaning again. Say what you like but the pay is very good. Best Ive had since I got here infact. Still, while I was collecting the last of my Attests (references) I enquired about work and got a very surprised yesyes yes! (Or jajaja in Norwegian :D).

So, after a long chat with my beloved better half, we decided it might be best to push for "fast" work (permanent) in order to get some stable money. Being unafraid of a decent days work, I finally relented to the idea of cleaning toilets and offices for a living. Besides, with the money I could pay for a lot. Including new norsk books and... my Bergens test! Thats the clinker. My aim, is be finished and eidetic with Stein På Stein, the second in the series of language books, by Christmas. That would leave me until around April to finish with the next set and be ready to try for that scary test that opens up so much to me. Funny thing is, if I pass or fail, I would still be at that point, much better than I am now.

The norsk klubbs continue, on the most recent occasion without me! I am jealous, but proud to be part of such a group. Having friends learning with you makes things nicer.

Ill extend an offer again, if anyone is in the Oslo area who'd like to join in learning Norwegian, send me a bell. (Trans. Send me an email.)

ANyway! Blood! Yes, Twas a few goodly nights ago that, while walking home from work I found an old and very drunk man drenched in his own blood. It seems that he had fallen over trying to get more money out of a minibank (atm) and bashed his head. It was quite an effort to get him sat down and check his pupils for you know what. Thankfully he was fine. Though when another helper phoned an ambulance he got up and began walking away, ungrateful of our help!
Jumping on the night bus, it was then I noticed that my hands were covered in his blood (thankfully he had lots left :D). There is something unnerving when its someone elses.
What a night.
Still, that same night I bumped into other lads from England (most of the time theyre either half norwegian, and/or from the south). Only met one guy from near my home so far, our "accents" confused the hell out of the locals. Heh. Didnt realise I had an accent until I came here.

Anyway, still here, still working, learning, living and stuff.

Thanks for reading and following, I dont deserve you.

More soon! Christmas presents and surviving away from home for Jule.

Rik

Studen Application denied!!!

2010-11-01T00:24:00.000-07:00

Well, if I said that I was totally surprised, I'd be lying. But why? I mean, after all, I did have not one, but three people tell me it would all be fine. One, going so far as to say "you dont require a bergens test for this" in an email.

So much for that idea, but where does that leave me now?

Pessimistically: There are no relevant courses in Univeristy or College that I can take without a passed Bergens test to prove that I am adequate enough to taken them. Also, the only Masters Coarse I would be relevant to really, requires 50 more points to even bother applying.

Optimistically: If I consider that the Bergens test itself is not just a means to an end but a course in its own right, then I should consider myself a student in Norwegian. In a way, once again I must remind myself that the Bergens test or Norwegian as a whole, is the true key to unlock all those doors. SO really, I only have one thing to study on. Simple eh?

At the end of the day, I am lucky to have a loved one with endless generosity, patience of a walking saint and who gives me all the moral and financial support I need. I wont lie, every day I don't pay for everything is a shameful thing, this wasn't the way I was raised after all, but she calls me her little investment. The least I can do is not ruin that for her.

In any case. While I'm rethinking my long term plans (again), I can concentrate my efforts to get to that fluent level of norsk. After all, thats the only real problem, right?

I've nearly got all of my Attests from my old bosses, just one left who seems very evasive. Bear it in mind that to write such a reference is a legal obligation, even if it just says, "he worked this period" they still have to write one. Looks like I may need to be a bit more insistent. Le sigh.

Still, on goes the job hunt, I'm finally practicing the writing of søknader (applications) in norwegian by learning key words and expressions, you know, like I am dependable etc. After a while I might learn something. Flash cards, coarse books and that new norsk klubb should see me through. Ive given myself until April to do this.

On a final note, anyone living in the Oslo area who would like to get involved with a free friendly group all trying to learn norwegian, drop me a post here. I don't know about you, but I aint paying for another coarse if I can help it.

Thanks again!

Rik.

Student Application handed in!

2010-10-26T06:00:00.000-07:00

Okay.

I have finally handed in my application to the University of Oslo. My intent? Is to take enough points to apply for a Master Degree. Heres the thing, traditionally, such coarses can only be taken as part of a whole Degree. This degree isnt available at the moment, not that I could have taken it anyway because one of the requirements is a Bergens test.

Yet I've been told that these single coarses, of which I need 50pts worth, do not require such a thing indivdually because I can speak English. Go fig. Ive had two seperate people tell me this is the case, though in my usual pessimisitc (edit: realistic) mindset, I fully expect to be shafted much later on next year.

Regardless, heres me trying.

In the interim, I'll be trying to move closer to the Bergens test level. More of less, my last level test had me at B1, which as about 3 below Bergens test level. What scares me the most is the requirement to actually understand the Bergen accent!!!!

Crapple.

Still, now Im writing the occasional essay including recently learned words, badgering my eternally patient girlfriend to mark it. Also, klartale, a fantastic website where one can read and hear the latest news in slow and concise Norwegian.
Between these and my aim to finish Stein Pa Stein before Novemeber I think at least the progress continues.

Jobs.

At the moment Im still only working with Samfunnet as security. Not much, but its better than nothing. While Im hoping for more work with the awesomness that is Penelope, this Christmas, one musnt rest on ones laurels or something like that.
This was where I found out about attests. England has references. Norway has references and attests. Attests are testimonials about your working standard from previous employers. Very serious business.

Im still tracking them all down. Theres nothing worse than not being able to do much when your finally in the mood to do so!!

Anyway, had a very wierd cultural day last thursday. Got mistaken for a Turk and got my hands covered in blood. More later!

R

Walls, hoops and a F#¤)ING big emergency cuppa!

2010-10-06T10:09:00.000-07:00

Hi there sports fans.

Ever had a crappy revelation?

Picture this. Today I decided to research the possibility of studying a Masters in English Language with Oslo University. Today I found out that, of coarse, my micky mouse degree in Imaginative Writing didnt count for didly.

Damnation.

In essence, although Im looking into this, I would have to start from scratch with another new Bachelors beforehand. Thats a long time.

Okay, Ill back up a bit.

I decided a week ago, with no small amount of consideration nor sobreity, to become a teacher. No instant thing, I know, but it felt good to have an overall goal, ikke sant?
I had a GCSE and an A level relevant to English Language, and since the Masters in Oslo were in English, I figured that while my Norwegian continued to grow I could do something useful. And of coarse abuse the immensly cheaper Tuition costs here.

Sadly, my lazy past came back to haunt me.

Still, at least in a year or two I can take that Pedagogikk Bachelors, though Ive heard more conflicting opinions about how that works. One camp says I need another Bachelors beforehand, while others say I can combine it with another subject that say I want to teach.

More research pending.

In other news, the Norsk Klubb continues. Infact, after Ive finished this post and scoffed down a certain pizza that is cooking right now, Im off to the next session!

Jobs and work? Well my last day with Penelope was yesturday. I felt somewhat cold afterward. Almost like a good thing had ended, though Ive heard they will more than likely need me come December.
In the meanwhile Im plugging as many days back on the doors as I can without suffering adverse affects such as insomnia, hallucinations and a love of Twilight.

Shudder...

I've had some interviews recently (not been idle, not me!), and Ive discovered the need to scan and prepare both copies of all of my education and documents, but also an "attest" from all of my Norwegian jobs! A bit of digging, but apparently my employers must by law give me an attest (read - written reference). Doesnt have to be anygood, but they do have to give me one! :D

So while I wait for those documents to turn up, while I scan and research, I still can't help but feel like Im not doing anything useful.

Thankfully my girl Ingrid continually reminds me that:
a/ Im being stupid.

Love you baby. X

Lesson from all of this? Get a pen and a piece of paper:

1-Before coming over, scan all of your documentation regarding education.
2-Remember to ask for an attest from previous employers, even current ones.
3-Never give up.
Message ends.

My confession.

2010-09-21T23:22:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make. I really didnt want to write on this BLOG. Its strange really but I have in effect been avoiding it for some time and I think I know why.

Life is boring. Kinda.

People BLOGS are usually crammed with fantastic trips, events, littered with endless photoes of the Bloggers in question having a great time. Well, either I havnt had any of that, or I generally forgot my camera. Or, after all these excuses are spent, they are all normal.

This BLOG, I started nearly a year and a half ago, to detail my adventures in actually getting into another country with nought but myself and my girl friends help. Since then, its been a case of no news is good news right? I do get surprised at how much Norwegian Ive actually learnt. Usually at the expense of someone who say, has been here longer and not learned a thing. The shit kicker is usually that said person has a job anyway because of knowledge of stuff or friends.

I have been lucky.

I have NOT earned a job the hard way. I have not applied for work and won through a interview the work. I have either had it handed to me by very good friends that I have made over here, or simply by being in the right place at the time. I know, I know, same at home anyway.
It just stings is all.

With regards to work I have been lucky in the past, but now, soon actually, I will be jobless again looking without hope but wondering all the same if I shall be lucky again.
Truth is, I have come so far from when I started. I can see this. I have actually had job interviews in Norwegian now. Not very good ones, not very succesful ones, but in Norsk all the same.
Also, my recent stretch with Penelope bokhandel has given me some fantastic experience, a really good reference and best of all, a cadre of very awesome people. I can't tell you enough about the work ethic you find in some of these places, beer tasting and sushi extravaganza's (all free) not withstanding, theyre professional and fun. A rare combination.

Its wierd how when your commuting on the bus or the train, you only ever meet the impolite ones. Namely getting on and off the train is hell during traffic because they people coming the other way barge into you. Sooner or later the English politness goes out the door and you fall back on mosh-pit/rugby/older-brother training and start crushing some folker!

So, I have lots of free time right now, though next week Im working vikar (cover work) back at Penelope the book shop. After wards I got nuthin. Right now, Im going through a rutine (trying my best, I have no dicispline so Im trying to get some) of excercise, tending to that veruca I keep getting from these laminate floors, keeping my eyes peeling for another job on Nav or Finn, painting figures for fun times later this week and most importantly, continuing my own norsk kurs. I recently got together with two friends who are on the same level as me to study through a book called Stein På Stein. Im also reading the Witches in Norwegian, with accompanying sound book. Good fun.

Kinda scary really. Part of me debated fleeing back to England but to my horror I discovered that its worse at home. At least here there is work if you crack the language barrier. Back home it sounds more and more like a third world country. Maybe I could claim asylum here? :B

I had an epipheny also. I decided that my long term goal was to go into teaching. Not entirely impossible. I have a degree in Imaginative Writing (stop laughing at the back please, give the front a turn) amid a host of A levels and GCSE's. Nothing special, but enough to maybe get one of those free/really cheap Masters and when Im ready, a Pedogoggik degree. Maybe teaching English, IT and History? I'd do that here, but not at home. Its disgusting how few rights teachers have in schools. The famous paedo scare of the 90's still haunts us, and puts teachers in a situation where for example, if a child tries to stab another, the teacher can only "get in the way."

Ridiculous.

Anyway, I digress.

Bumped into a really great guy while working the doors at Samfunnet the other day. Forget his name, but he was from CHester. Sounded like an extra from Hollyoaks, but it was good to go full swing with my accent and not be worried about being misunderstood. As it was noone there could make a word out (how do you like it eh!?), but as it is my "scouse" accent isnt actually scouse. I know, but try explaining the concept of villages to most norwegians. Steder (or places i think) are closest they have. Its cold here, huddle up now!

Feels good to finally write something down. Always feels like an Ego trip, and yes I suppose this does feed my self worth somewhat. So sue me. I have followers dammit!

Thanks for reading all. Im still alive.

Rik.

A year in. Looking back.

2010-06-01T10:20:00.000-07:00

So as I said in the last post. I, have been in Norway for just over a year. A lot of the visitors to this Blog as I have noticed are more interested in how hard it is financially, psychologically etc, then how great a bunnad looks. Fair enough, at the end of the day this is what I intended to do all those long months ago. So:

29th Mai 2009. I came over with one suitcase and a backpack. Both of these items I would be getting very intimate with over the next six months. Why? Well, because when I came over I had no job. I had no real place to live spare in the apartment that girlfriend shared with her friend in Toyen (sorry, cant get Norsk keyboard to work today, Vista's great ain't it?). To give you an idea, heres a qoute from my first ever post:

Lets get this into perspective. I have no friends and family over there (well I didn't), no money making talents, no preset job arrangements and most certainly no language knowledge. SO! Why do it? It could be that my beloved girlfriend is over there and I'm not. It could be that I am so bored with life here that I want a change? Or it could be that I want to at least say I tried to do it. Not many can say they've done that!

Now. When I say suitcase, I mean enough clothes to keep me from being naked for one and a half weeks. With only empty days to myself for the first few months, while my girl was busy working to pay for me. Not ideal, but we both knew what we were getting ourselves in for!

Over the next few months I busied myself with studying norwegian, meeting all of my girl friends friends. While my lady tried her hardest to get a job for me through her "connections" i went about town with a CV and embarrased myself wholesale trying to get work anywhere. I also bothered to try getting help from NAV, the Norwegian job point thingy, only to feel like an unwanted retard. Twice. Thanks guys.

Luck came in the form of a stock take at my Girlfriends place, where I actually managed to use my experience in retail to good form. Then, I got an extra boost of luck when I began working for a friend of the family by "Reporting football matches." I know what youre thinking, but no, it was for a booking website. Still paid. Most of the time.

Eventually, I acquired enough money to afford my first Norwegian Coarse. Now dont let this step fool you, for two weeks worth of "intensive" lessons you too can learn precisly butt kiss of norsk for a humble sum of 4400Kr (Roughly £480). Though the coarse was where I met like minded individuals i.e. immigrants like myself, each with their own hopes and dreams and stories.

Whilst this was going on, during a rather drunken complaint to one of my new Norwegian friends, I managed to acquire another job: working the door. Yeah, I know! But no matter what people tell you, Oslo aint nuthin like Liverpool. Working as security and genral drunk pusher, I worked twice a week from ten til four in the morning, walking home across the city. bearing this was during the Winter and this was before I could ship over some Winter clothes. Let me tell you, you don't know what cold is like until you've walked through Oslo in the Winter mornings.

>_<

Life was getting better. Until a surprise fall out with that "family member" caused me to rely more and more on my work at the student pub, which was starting to take its toll.

Taking a step back, I realised that I was missing vital norsk exposure. To that end I began working in a Barnahage voluntarily. The things kids can teach you. Anyone interested in learning more Norwegian or generally builing a CV in Norway, I would recommend volunteering for starters. Its not the expected thing here strangely. But like I said, children are fantastic teachers, patient (or not!), brazen and eager to impress by teaching you something.
A few weeks later, taking a tip of a "immigrant" friend, I was told about a Barnahage that was advertising for a job or two and I went for it. Got an interview and becuase of my lack of experience, aquired a "vikar" work. Vikar is essentially half way between a zero hour contract and part time. Unfortunatly the job was primarily English spoken and the whole afair lacked something which I needed. That, and consistant money!

As me and my girl were planning to move into our own place, we were stuck living at her parents house. We had said goodbye to Toyen, compacted all of our belongings (easier for me) and moved into a small room somewhere in Frogner. Life got hard while we pursued one flat after another until we got a lucky break, which we did have to wait longer for. Finally we said our thank yous and moved in. Making sure that it was a flat that my girl friend could afford herself, I was happy to actually let myself relax. Life was finally taking a sold turn. After six or seven months of room sharing? Who could blame me?

It was around this time that luck struck again. An old contact that I had enquired about work with came out of the blue, a few months later, asking if I wanted work. It was a part time job, just cleaning. It paid consistantly and although it was thankless labour it paid ok.

Finally earning, I made the call to ship all of my belongings from England. Total cost for 14 boxes? 4000Kr. Make sure youre ready and set before you do this. Only when you are sure do you burn your boats Cortez style.

What was I complaining about!? It was work! If someone in England had offered me this type of opportunity I would have flied the birdy, but here? It was progress, and that never happens fast enough.

The cleaning job panned out, very pleasent people, all with stories. Then a cruve ball occured, barley two months ago now. A friend of mine asked me if I could work in a book store, nigh on 100% Norwegian.

I said: Sure, why not?

It wasnt as permanent as the cleaning job. It might not even pay as much. So why did I take it? Answer? Long term thinking. I wasnt in Norway to get money. I was here to grow. To learn. I downgraded my cleaning job to vikar, and accepted her offer.

Like I said. Depseration is key.
:)

So:
Lets get this into perspective. I have no friends and family over there (well I didn't), no money making talents, no preset job arrangements and most certainly no language knowledge. SO! Why do it? It could be that my beloved girlfriend is over there and I'm not. It could be that I am so bored with life here that I want a change? Or it could be that I want to at least say I tried to do it. Not many can say they've done that!

Friends? Check. Through them came many fun times and jobs! How to get em? Be sociable. Accept all invitations where possible. Find a friend from your country? Stick together, endure the nordy madness.
Family? You would be surprised how quickly you can be "adopted" into another family, abroad. I like to think that I have my family, and my other families.
Job arrangements? If I have proven anything, its that not giving up and making opportunities (not to mention taking them) is key and if you try long enough, success is assured.
Language knowledge? I am proud to say that as of this month I have officially attained: Godd bad Norwegian level. Huzzaa! You get to a certain point? Unless you openly refuse to speak norsk, you will pick up words as you go. Nuthin to do with intellect, all you need is right in your head.
Why did I do it? I honestly cant think of a single reason not to. Remember, you can always start again, or try something else. Be the one that tried. Better yet, be the one that succeeded.

Thanks to all that follow me and this hurried little Blog. In no small part, your support and kind words have kept me sane in darker months.

One Year Anniversairy

2010-05-31T13:06:00.000-07:00

A rather strange day occurred recently when I realized to my horror that I had in fact been in Norway for exactly a year last Saturday. Desperate to make a deal about it, I tried to arrange a celebration, maybe even start a little something for all of my other "invanderer" friends. As it happens, sodding Eurovision was on the same day.

(As an aside, have to say, Pete Waterman needs shooting for that travesty of music, and lets be honest, did anyone else notice that the English "dancers" were all drunk during the show part of the night? So embarrassing.)

Anyway, just as I was prepared to settle in for a night of eurotrash, my good friends surprised me with a gift an a hug, congratulating me for a job well done. Interestingly enough, those good friends will have been here a year in July sometime, so maybe a tradition can start for this? If I could coin it, I call it Invaders day, celebrating one year as an Invader, or immigrant if you like. :)

Anyway, for this years Anniversairy (a word I always struggle to spell) Ive decided to write up something of an appraisal. Maybe look back at past posts, events and memories and maybe go through the steps and travails I took to get this far. If I read it tonight, I should be able to write something up tomorrow.

Until then. If youre reading this and you yourself are an Immigrant in Norway, ask yourself, when is your Invaders day?

Rik

The Curious case of a lost F*&^ing wallet!

2010-05-15T04:17:00.001-07:00

Yes thats right. On the way home from work, I left my wallet on the bus. Finding a distinct lack of bulge in my right pocket I did what most red-blooded males do. I freaking panicked. Ran around Oslo Sentrum chasing after buses like a demented canine. Finally saw sense and went to the local bus station only to remember that I forgot what the bus number had been!

Crap.

Well, writing it all off I counted the losses and went home, myself and my girl very damnably depressed Still its easier to deal with once you accept that there was nothing you could do.
Reaching home I went through the process of cancelling all my bank cards, taking advantage of the Norwegian 24hour stop system. Then, again, taking advantage of Norways massive trend of interenet banking, transferred money around so I could access it before 17th May celebrations!

Now all of this was going through the motions. But yesturday I recieved a very special phone call. Now this would never happen in England I'm mostly sure, but I recieved a phone call from a very excited bus driver who had found my wallet. Not only this, but she wanted to get it to me as soon as possible, trying to make arrangements to drop it off at my local station!

All of those days, chasing after a bus that leaves when your within inches of reaching the door has been forgiven! I cancelled my cards but hey, its the thought that counts right?

SO if you ever lose your wallet or "lommerbok", follow the following course:
1/ Cancel all bank cards via the internet or phone call. I would recommend that your mobile phone has such emergency numbers already on them.
2/ Contact your local bus terminal (or Traffikanten if your unsure), and tell them what bus you were on and when it was running. Sometimes apparently they can get the bus to drop it off the next time the driver comes by, if the wallet is found.
3/ Go back two days later to ask about it. Very often you will be given a set of numbers depending on what buses you had used, phoning these "lost and found" centers is a very direct approach.

Overall the experience of losing your important belongings is slightly different in Norway. Overall you are less likely to be frauded or have the cards taken, usually because such a safe system of stopping said cards exists. But dont panic, follow the above and you will be fine and writing blog posts about the ordeal in no time at all.

:)

And in other news...

2010-05-11T04:02:00.000-07:00

I just realised right after finishing my last post some important things: -

I'm still waiting for my drivers license,
Soon I'm going on holiday... back home!
And, I've actually been here around 11 months as I arrived last June. Which means next month is my Immigrants Anniveresy! How to celebrate...

Drivers License.

Using the ever helpful services of Biltilsynet, I decided a while ago to change my English drivers license into a Norwegian one. Time was against me, as at the time I had but a few days to send it back to England for a new picture. Which, I was told by someone official in England, was pointless as I was living abroad. So, I quickly rushed over to my local Vei Vesson (sp?) to hand in my details. That was about nearly two months ago... I really should find out how that went!

A holiday back home.

From the very first moment my foreign feet touched tarmac at Torp airport I dreamed of using the Norwegian wage to fund a mass spending spree holiday back in England. Fate as it would seem, thought this would be fun too and thanks to the current climate pretty soon I "should" be returning to England with some money to buy things either unavailable (Read Aunt Bessies Yorkshire Puddings) or a damn sight cheaper in England (Read just about everything!). They say no plan ever survives contact with the enemy. I'll let you know how that goes. :)

Immigrants Annivserery? That and other traditions coming soon!

My family has never been one for traditions. Not because of some high brow sense of place, nor any form of spartan thinking, oh no, my folks came from Huyton Mofo! >:) However, since coming to Norway I can't help but feel rather than lacking, and rather than taking pølse off children every 17th May etc I feel its my responsibility to me and my own to establish some new traditions. This is after all a land filled with them. Here, a man can shamelessly wave the Union Jack without connotations to white skinned cueball headed neo-natzis and allround jew hating scum bags. Here, a man can actually explore what remains of English culture, the way he was meant to: by comparing it to other culture with a sense of dark witted arrogance. "I want my cup of tea in a CUP, not a GLASS, with MILK and a ton of SUGER! If it doesnt give me diabeties it don't count!"

So. Upon finding out that I had nearly been here a year, I decided very quickly that it was call for a celebration. Well, at least a reason to get drunk anyway (By the way has anyone seen what happens when you say to a Nord "I hope you get adequatly drunk?" Wierd.). More importantly, this concept couldnt be selfishly kept, oh no!

SO! My ExPatriot and soon to be ExPatriot friends! I call to you! If you have survived the culture shock, the Cuisine Le Anglais food crisis that is to be without proper gravy, the horribly and sensibly priced alchohol, the over bearingly polite to pedestrain drivers, TEA IN GLASSES, if you have survived a year, be it your first or another, celebrate. If we celebrate surviving a year on our birthday, surely this advancement in the survival process requires something extra. But wait! This day requires a name! Something catchy and memorable, that demands songs and antics that can be handed down to new arrivals.

Ideas?

Where to begin.... Again. (Language rant)

2010-05-11T02:56:00.000-07:00

It occured to me recently (About five minutes ago actually), that learning a language feels like running a circuit. Yeah, lets go with that analoge for now. That circuit represents all of the knowledge you can accumulate in say a month. If its too big, you will probably fall over and die of a heart attack (analogy!), so keeping it small at first is good: Say so many words, so many grammital wotnots etc. Once you can run that circuit you make it a little bigger.

Where am I going with this? Around in circles. But not it seems in a bad way. Many Language coarses prech repetition. Remember the lines you had to write on the board in school, a hundred times: I will not put an angry cat in teachers bag? (What just me?). What you might of experienced there was the most basic form of education, kinesthetic learning. IE learning by physically doing it. My late French teacher once said that all things could be memorised by three simple steps. Reading, saying and writing it down, over and over again. Unless you accidently become an adept scribe, great at copying written works without actually reading them, it should help. many special needs kids go through this and hell if it works for them it works for you.

But I digress. What am I ranting about now? I have been here for around 9 months now and counting. I have achieved arguable quite a lot in terms of language acquisition it seems. However, even now I still screw up the most basic of things.

Pose. Bag. Vil du få en pose? Would you like a bag? I say it a lot in my current job and dear god how I am sick of getting it wrong. Having a customer standing infront of you wondering god knows what. (Would you like a pause with that? Would you like a pussy cat?) The problem lies in the utterances. The vowel O can be said in many different ways thanks to many languages and dialects, slangs and candences. WTF eva. Where I come from, we don't use that particular vowel sound required to say the word bag in Norwegian!! So, I must practice making a funny face while I try to make that sound that my ears are not trained to hear and my mouth it seems is not trained to make. Yet there is hope. Today, my readers. I said it right. I did a little dance! Im telling my those who read my blog even. I dont expect any of you to understand but I kind of hope one day you might.

So what advice can I give from this experience? That those circuits I talked of always return to the starting block? That no matter how good you get, revision is required? hard truth Im afraid.

Try this. http://www.omniglot.com/writing/norwegian.htm

The guy to writes on this website has learned about 8 languages fluently and countless as a side project. But this page describes Norwegian and even lets you listen to the alphabet and those pesky dipthong thingies. Say them along as you hear it. Leave it a day, go back and see if you can say the letter sounds a minisecond before they do. Are you right? If you leave it another day do you get better?

Bottom line is, if you can remember the alphabet. You CAN learn the language.

/Rant.

Thanks for reading.

"Desperation is what you need, doo do do dooo dooooo"

2010-04-23T02:44:00.000-07:00

Hi again folks to what is turning into a monthly afair. The weather has turned from a sour snow to a skitzofrenic (sp??) nut job that can`t decide if it wants to shine brightly or well, rain erm ash?

I recently helped friend from England get his first job, and while my inner trumpets are playing and (if I was religiously inclined) my place in ahem, the place upstairs is set, I mention this not for praise. Oh no. In Norway it seems, networking is key. The expression "its not what you know but who" has never been truer. Indeed, I can honestly say that most of my jobs have been found through friends and friends of friends. I've done the work of walking around Oslo, despressingly handing out CV's like some student whose just discovered council tax, I've found myself praying for easy jobs that rely on English speakers. Choose your own path. I recently passed on a job opportunity from one friend to another who needed one, now shes working in an English company in Norway playing on mobile phones all day trying to crash them. Makes you think how it would have been, testing Windows Vista in the same way.

Take my latest misadventure for example. Last mentioned I was cleaning floors and toilets and earning a reletivly tidy some for it. So I ask you: Why did I move on to a job in a book store, several miles away in Lillestøm where barely any English is heard? Where I am expected to perform like anyone else and understand enough norsk to survive?

Desperation. Pure and simple. I've been searching for the sacred "Immigrants Attitude" since I got here, that thought pattern that makes the difference between a man from a war torn country that works his ass off every day, learns the language and provides for his family, and the man who comes from a rich background and gives up 'cus its too hard. No offence meant, but I am fed up, sick to death with reading bloggs and such about people who claim Norway is too hard to live in. I'd love to give my whole account, but that is another story...

Working in an enviroment which DEMANDS norsk to survive, is a remarkably effective way of forcing your mind to "up the game." Obviously it doesnt work without the SUPPLY that studieing provides, but you can be damn sure that you will memorise the words you use before others, and here I use quite a few new ones every day.

My advice for anyone wanting to make the difference is to volunteer to work your free time in Norwegian environments where you can pick up more words and tune in to the lingo.

In regards to my new job though, it is HARD. Every day, at least twice, a situation will come along where for all intents and purposes I am a child/dog/pokemon as I stare in utter incomprehension to what a customer is saying. So far it hasn't lost me the job, though luckily, a combination of daily studying is keeping me afloat. So far. All I can say is wish me luck, and Ill tell you all about it.

Thanks for reading.

Og min sjef gir meg vaffle og kopp te i dag!
Jeg bestempte meg at jeg like det her!
Også, Google translator er hjempe farlig! :)

Long time no post!! aka I'm still alive!

2010-03-20T10:14:00.000-07:00

While you were gone...
Apologies all round for my tardiness. It never surprises me how easy it is to simply lose interest in something. Then again my attention span was nev

I am now in a flat, with furniture, heating and all the modern comforts. After some agonisingly complex organisation my belongings have finally begun the shipping process. Only the dreaded weekend keeps my toys (and clothes) in a warhouse somewhere south of Hull, awaiting my completed passport and custom details. One hurdle after another. By the way, I recommend Tuder freight, very accesable, though as with any freight service, take the qoute they give and double it when planning ahead. Learn from my mistakes.

Had a bad surprise the other day too, in the same week I discovered that my freight cost wasnt 220, but £470 I learned that my English bank had decided to freeze my account so my direct debit from my credit card bounced causing unnecesery charges. Dont even bother with HSBC's customer help line, unless you think a poorly paid Asian worker can empathise with you about your situation in Prescot. I understand out soarcing and all that but sheesh, get a grip!
Anyway, a few phone calls, internet access and fantastic parents later all is coming together.

I love you guys.

So after living for almost 9 months out of a suitcase (plus what I brought over on my last trip to sunny, ahem, Liverpool) I will soon (should) have my things!!
Some of you may understand what Im talking about.

Job hopping (With the occasional skip)
Toilets to books. They say that job hunting in Norway is about who you know, more than what you know. There is some truth in this. SO far in Norway Ive worked as a commentator on the local matches (less said about that the better), security in a Norwegian "pub" (its not a real pub, not really) and barnehage vikar. I recently got a part time contract working as a cleaner. Not exactly exotic but it paid well and the people there where fantastic. I really got into that "Immigrant" attitude, not the percieved one of blatant ignorance and laziness but the truer one of hard work (/discuss). Now, Ive recently acquired a vikar work with a book store! Talking to customers! OH dear god! (read the section below for more details about the OMG)

The point Im tryng to make however, is that all of these jobs only happened because of connections. Networking, is a common activity in Norway, as far as I can tell. Though not the cold and cocktail studded, party ridden whoring one might think of in the acting circles of Hollywood, oh no. In Norway it seems more natural, more of a side affect of making friends. Do I feel lucky? Hell yes, I have many great friends in Oslo.

The language barrier Vs the high jump.

Learning a language is a funny, thing. Especially when you go from feeling thick headed and useless one minuite to realising how far you have truly come. Far from the obligatory "your Norwegian is really good/ du er så flink med norsk!" I'm talking about the moments when you note that some words have stuck, have been learnt even. Its a good feeling. The point is that learning a language takes a lifetime. Learning to communicate doesnt.

Its all in increments, scratching a word or two at a time. I do believe that even if you dont try, sometimes you can't help but pick up on something. Its nothing to do with intellect (thank god) but rather a natural instinct we all have since the time we learnt our first language. Sound, word = meaning. Multiple words means a concept, etc.

For me though, while I can prattle away like a proper hill billy, hearning the Norwegian is still my weak point. Hopefully a combination of radio, constant conversation, reading and the usual studying will make the difference I need for this new job.
Did I say usual studying? I lied. In truth I had a ahem, break for a month or so while I became distracted by more mundane things like work, money and snow. Remember: Reward yourself for every victory.

Anyway, its good to be back, and maybe next time, Ill tell you a secret....
:)

Missed you!

R

New Year, New Rules.

2010-01-07T03:00:00.000-08:00

As Im writing this I keep looking outside at the "torn duvet" snow storm. Its truly beautiful, when your indoors. Heh. Ive been thinking long and hard about how far Ive come over the past seven months and although Ive been told its good, I dont feel its enough.

Apathy is death.

Its easy to unconsciously give up. As a man (Yes I used this line), it hurts not bringing in the majority of the moneys in a relationship. Call it what you want, primative hunter gather instincts, masojionistic upbringing whatever. The point is, I still dont feel like Im trying hard enough.

So. This year will be a fresh start, a second wind if you will. With a diet, excercise regime, a planned Norwegian acquisition system (if it sound complex it will work right?) and push on the job seeking front. All these things are connected. If your in another country languishing on partime or vikar work while you figure out what to do, waiting for a lucky break; you should know what I mean. As usual its all about attitude. Now I know that this blog is about me (average joe brit) trying his luck in Norway, but keep reading and you will see how its all connected. Its something I call the "immigrants spirit."

Diet and excercise?
These are things I dont actually need, more want. Its the discipline really. The excercise every morning, 30 minutes and pushing more and more each day with a break on sunday. If I dont sweat, I wasnt pushing hard enough. At least, thats the plan so far.
Food wise, Im giving up all sorts and trying new things. Nothing insane, only stuff I know I should be able to give up on. Chocolate, beer, carbonated drinks, carbohydrates halves and a list of food swaps.
Last night the hunger aches finally stopped. Not sure if this is a good thing but its not like Im starving myself so we shall see!

Apathy is death.

Norwegian and job seeking.
Right now I can have basic conversations in Norwegian, even so far as to use past tense, future tense, perfect tense and eiendoms pronomens. All good. But I realised that Im falling down on my vocabulary. If I dont know the word I wont recognise it when I hear it, nor be able to write or say the damn thing! So, flash cards. Yup, cheap card rectangles, English on one side, Norwegian on the other. Taking about twenty words every three days Ive been able to memorise the parts of the body and locations around the flat. Using them in conversations is REALLY important, think of it as reinforcing it. I was aiming for 100 words per month but I seem to have hit onto something, so we shall see.

Irregular verbs and nouns are going to be the bitch.

Although a friend keeps telling me "I can get you a job, when your Norwegians good enough", that is the long term aim. RIght now, two job agencies are my target. See if asking them to help me out is a good idea. Worse they can say is no. Oh, and dont bother with NAV. Unless you expect to be disapointed and leave feeling like your a hated bloody immigrant. Lovely people. Probably just the luck of meeting a particular set of people, but... no.. this is a subject for another post.
Good news is that I can now start perusing Finn.no with some hope! As usual though, its not what you know (language being the exception to this rule), its who you know. Still, every angle needs to be covered.

Apathy is death. This is my moto for this year, I hope you like it. I keep repeating it to myself, to remind myself that lounging around not developing as a person is apathy and if thats all you do, you might as well die. Harsh but true.

Again thanks for reading. I apologise for the soberity of this post, as I mentioned before, attitude is everything. These days I seem to be very serious.

Right there with you,
Rik.

PS
Really looking forward to the mentioned future blog meet, if someone could forward me the contact details again I will try and get involved, thanks!

Internet is back! Bad facebook, good blog!

2009-12-20T05:28:00.000-08:00

HEY YAAALL! God jule og en godt nytt år!

We finally managed to acquire internet without setting up a line which would make us have a TV License issue (Cant stand TV, computer only thanks). SO!
Its christmas, and for many of us here in Norway its no big deal. This is my first norsk xmas and after the julebord I was dragged too Im really looking towards it! Ive been told many things and it seems to me, at least in my experience here, that christmas hasnt become the dried husk of capitalism worship it is in England.

Ribbe, check.
Pina kjøtt, check.
Grøsris, check.

On my way!! Still, Im going to miss my family this year, like never before. Though, my mum, ever the wonderful being has sent me a "care package" via mail. Dont know whats in it until it gets here, but I know, I know, what a woman. Love you mum!
Need to send my family their stuff next...

Norwegian or Polish electrics I dont know, but, in our lovely new flat, I accidently nearly killed myself. Luck played with my life that day, as our cooker stopped working. I look under to check why and find a lose high voltage plug set. Trying to get a closer look I press two fingers on the exposed part and get a nasty shock. Later, when the landlord sent an electricion around, I was told that two fingers got a shock and a sore hand, one finger could have easily killed me.
Heres a photo of the plug before it was fixed (For free!).

BAD FACEBOOK!
I didnt really apreciate this until I read an article revealing the secret trade of your pictures over the net. Any pictures you put on facebook, legally become their property. So, a picture of you might end up on those horrible pics of girls or boys that are single and want to have sex with you. Well, if your good looking anyway...this is making me sound very arrogant, but still my point is THEY CLAIM OWNERSHIP!!
No thanks, fascist gits.

SO!

BEHOLD THE HALLOWEEN MADNESS! (I did promise pics didnt I?)

The Dubliner, is a very high end Irish themed pub near Stortinget Station. It has a fantastic weekly session crew of folk singers, fiddlers and more. Im proud to say my girl is one of the singers welcomed there. However that night although the music was still themed, the patrons were more towards the darker side...(The pic on the bottom is me and my girl, Ingrid.)

In other news, the xbox is back and is being well used. I have now officially lost my girlfriend to KOTOR, a game as addictive as crack. (So not as bad as World of Warcraft). Im now creating a batch of flashcards to add new words to my norsk repatoir. My application for a work permit is under way after some seriously tragic beaurocratical insanity (More later) and I should be trying two job agents.

Once again, thanks for reading this little blood stain of my ireverent labours, hope you all have a fantastic xmas!

Rik.

Sinsen, Julebord and xbox.

2009-11-29T13:16:00.000-08:00

Sinsen

Sinsen is an ok place to be. Good people, local transportation and the heating is free. The flat now has full lighting, curtains are up, furniture is in and all we are missing is the rest of the boxes. There is a few more things that need fixing, but the landlord has been more than compromising with us. Still, I cant wait to get my teeth stuck into improving this place...
Muahaha! But now we can finally have our house warming party with snacks and stuff!? Did I mention Ive done the choosing a curtain thing now? It was a horrible but necessary ordeal. Hot coals was looking good. Still, now their up we have privacy which means I don't have to squat while I run around half naked.

Julebord

Had my first julebord yesterday. For the uninitiated, julebord (translated as christmas table), is a work party set strictly around three tenants. Christmas, cheap beer and free food. I indulged in all of it. Including much dancing, verbally abusing my colleges in the parlance of my people (read scouse accent) and somehow tearing off my birthmark on my hand.

Strange night. Yet, it was a delightful experience and I was well looked after by good friends and colleagues alike.
Word of warning though, watch the akuvitt. Bloody stuff hits you like a double decker buss filled with WoW players.

xbox

Lastly I just want to briefly rave about my new old toy, which my gorgeous girl got for me, the classic xbox. I know, its old, (not that old, but old). Still, something has to be said about the purity of retro gaming. Plus, my girlfriend hasn't played KOTOR before (if you know what that means lol), so she has been playing it nonstop today. I thought that thing was for me.....

Sniff.

Anyway, still busy, going back to do some more volunteer work at the barnehage tommorow, then some much needed christmas shopping before IKEA trip!
Busy but better. Still waiting for that blogger meet! Come on people!

Thanks for reading.
x

New flat, new problems...

2009-11-12T02:17:00.000-08:00

Far from another moan, the expression "may he live interesting" times comes to mind. On my birthday I got a few presents, non more surprising than to be told by our new landlord that we could move in that evening.
Right there and then, I new something would go wrong. Though bless her, my girl Ingrid was an unstoppable supply of smiles and small giggles.
The single mother who left did so with speed. I can understand why, with two kids, 32m2 was no place for them.
Within five minutes I had already worked out what I affectionately call a "shit list." This is a list of "shit" things that need addressing. One of which was a lack of working lock.
Thankfully the next day I stayed in the flat for seven hours while a locksmith was called and new locks installed. I met the landlord, but did not get a chance to tell him about the other problems:

shower and taps coming away from the walls,
toilet seat broken,
shabby and unsafe shelving in the cupboard,
painted over light switches,
exposed electric socket,
exposed bell (talking visable electric contacts)

The list goes on.
Still, we managed to fix the toilet seat, locks are good meaning we can now leave the place. Then of coarse the hot water stops. Now I realise we are on the top floor, but after leaving the tap going for around five minutes? I could hear Bob Geldoff screaming.

Meh. Ingrids mother keeps telling me to stop moaning and work on it and I am trying to do just that. I think maybe that I am just sorely disapointed with the disapearance of Norwegian high standard of living you know?

Anyway, its cheap, free heating, good position and the kitchen? Oh dear gods the kitchen is awesome. Very Ikea.

Oh, and theres this very strange thing attached to the wall that noone can Identify. Ill get a pic of it for you but it kind of looks like a small slate screen attacthed to an exposed (albiet painted over) cirtcuit board.

Thanks for reading.

R

A curse on both your plumbing!!!

2009-11-06T11:23:00.000-08:00

HATE PLUMBERS! They make chains of badness!

Allow me to explain. As you might already know, me and my girl are currently living with her parents. Its not so bad, but we have been led along. Led along by people being led along. Unfortunately for the young mum (two kids), who is currently waiting to move into a bigger home, she is at the un-tender mercies of plumbers.

Ever heard this line?
"Oh yeah, it will be finished today/tomorrow."

We'll they've told her this nearly five times now, and as a consequence she has told us this.
We still have no certainty other than the finality that we will at some point in the near future be moving in!!

ANyway, this post is more of a moan than anything else. Obviously it could have been much much worse, but it isn't, so I'm moaning about this. So there.

Well I feel much better.

On the good front, I got paid recently! With more coming! Its not much, but coming from nothing its a hellalot!!

xx

News from the front...

2009-10-28T03:47:00.000-07:00

SO things are coming together albeit very slowly.
Sadly my barnehage job has been delayed while the boss goes on a holiday (she did have two other part timers to sort out, but still...). So, I find myself facing the great enemy: Boredom.

Thankfully I've not been tooo idle. Returning to my Norwegian studies has been easier than I thought, right now I am re-digesting some notes on norsk preposijions (gotta love em) and recalling the worlds I learned through conversation. Im still finding more difficulty in hearing norsk, but I am getting there. As usual, speaking isnt the biggest issue for me. :p

Also, my other job working the doors has offered me some work in the interim, which is nice. Beginning to love drunkan Norwegians, especially when they join me in singing to Billy Joels Piano man. Thanks Jonas, I needed that. Good people there.

The move is going along, today we move the last bulk to my girls parents house. She's got a good family there, honest, loyal and kind. Hell theyre footing the bill for the damn deposit! Litt hjelp min rumpa! Add humble to that list.

So! We should be moving into our new place next week, around the middle. Its going to be damn messy when it starts but there is something pure about actually having a place! After 6 months of living out of a suitcase and not buying a single luxury item (well, maybe alchohol...), I really appreciate the small things.

Thanks again to anyone following my little misadventure, especially those that leave me little comments. Its good encouragement. I'll try to return the favour.

R

2 jobs down and a new place!!!!!

2009-10-19T07:45:00.000-07:00

OK! Luck has finally struck and while I'm dragging my legs around thanks to a series of child induced colds and chest infections; im smiling.

Last week I got a call back regarding a Vikar Barnehage job (Read: 0 hour contract), in the same week I was given a night job by a good friend of mine (Who can be swayed by bourbon, not the biscuit).
Top this off with a new flat for me and my girl to live in which we move to in the coming couple of weeks! Not forgetting that in November I'm going home for a few days (with an empty suitcase!).
I'd like to thank Thomas for that second job as a door man, Suzanne for that tip off about the barnehage work and finally for my beautiful norsk girlfriend who has put up with me in more than one way!
Ive always said this would be about baby steps but this step felt like a big one!

Also, I would like to thank the kind encouragement I recieved here. ALthough I had intedned to post far more here and join in the social end of this, events conspire against me. Thank you all and yes your stuck with me. Muhahahahahaha.

Ahem.

More soon!

11th hour? Not quite yet...

2009-09-20T01:44:00.000-07:00

So, im sitting here in bed, my girlfriend hooked on a Call of Cthulu campaign book (If you don't know, its best not to ask... its scary), listening to Billy Joel and wondering what to sort out for breakfast. It was then that I realised... I have a blog...

So... Hi! Again!

So first off, what has happened since my last post? Many many things! But to help me remember them all Ill segregate them nicely below.

Norwegian, the wall hath cometh!
Okay, after the norsk kurs, trinn 2, me and some friends got together and formed a study group. Very useful. At the moment we are reading through Brumm Bjørnen, also known as Whinni the Poo! Thats right, Im reading a kids book. But, the important thing is we are reading it together, to each other. This means we are exercising utterance, word recognition in sight and sound, sentence conjugation and then finally, learning new words. The real trick is remembering the bloody things! The best way I find is to use them in conversation as many times as you can.

New words today?
å rope
verkelig
egen
altfor
Sopp
Mygg
Høylydt
Ill tell you what they mean later. The important thing is that I remembered them!! I do find that a good nights sleep helps.

Now the wall as mentioned in the tag line, hath indeedth cometheth! There is a point apparently, in every language learners life when it seems that nothing more sticks. This is where I am. I am having so much trouble making new words stick its annoying. Im this close to getting myself checked for senility. Still, I am making progress, just very slowly! Any tips would be most appreciated! Still, as a running joke between my other two study group friends, between the three of us we make a decent Norwegian student!

Job searching!

"Ahh, but you must be able to speak Norwegian to do this job."
"Men, jeg kan snakker litt norsk. Jeg har bare slutt trinn 2 av norsk kurset fra folkuniversitetet."
"Ahh, but you must be able to speak fluent Norwegian."
"Ahh. Right then."

This is me for the umpteenth time trying to secure a job over the phone. It seems simply knowing enough Norwegian isnt enough. I can understand. As a country Norway has spent too long allowing English to become a rival language. Now, they only want fluent Norwegian speakers and there isnt enough people who can fit in all the jobs available. Its weird. Even in this climate Norway has loads more jobs available than Britain. Still, it is something they need to do else in thirty years Norwegian might be a minority language. Pain in't ass mind you, for me.

After many emails, phone calls, actual visits, the only real hopes I have rest in my friends who have connections at their own workplace. So... its like most countries then.

11th hour....

Because of the EU agreement between Britain and Norway, I had 6 months free visa until I had to leave. Of course if given a job offer or contract I could then apply for a work permit and stay for good. Unfortunately for reasons above etc, it hasn't happened. SO...by November it looks like I may have to go home for a few months before I can return. A three month break as I understand it. I'm not giving up though, and still apply for everything I can.
Of course if I do manage to pull it off, well, that trip back would become one awesome holiday wouldn't it?
I wont lie, its emotionally charged situation. Still, I refuse to be stressed by it. I will endevour and try and if I get sent packing, I will try again. So there.
That said, wouldnt it be funny if it was at the last minute?

More soon!

Something useful: How to start with Norwegian, by someone who has!!!

2009-08-10T01:43:00.000-07:00

Right! Something more useful now, some tips from me to anyone who finds this page on Google (Which is unlikely since I dont pay them). AHem, first I'll go through the torrent of books I have bougt on the subject, whats good, whats an emergency supply of toilet paper, you know.

Then, a list of tips I have received from very helpful friends.

**************************************************************

DISCLAIMER!!
This advice is no sure method! I suggest no such thing and will warn any English speakers now that learning Norwegian is very hard because most of the blighters know English in the first place! Well, English or American English (which I prefer to call FREEDOM SPEAK! apologies to any Americans reading this, if you managed to leave the land of freedom for some enlightenment.... I love you!). Indeed, it takes effort to attain what some language learners call "Immersion method" which basically entails a massive language barrier and only your wits to breach it. In essence, Its too damn easy to switch to the Queens sprakken!!!
Of course any side affects such as spontaneous enlightenment, flight, the ability to summon annoying children that say "why?" as many times as is inhumanly possible, cannot be attributed. Blame TV. I do.

**************************************************************

The Books!

Language books are evil. There is no two ways about this statement. The are expensive, call to question your intellect and effectively reduce you to the literal and spoken age of a four year old. Picture yourself for the first few days pointing at objects in abject bliss shouting "en Bil" at a passing car and "en brun bil!" at a passing Volvo. To the owner of the poo brown Volvo that passed me yesterday, your days are numbered.

Language books, for those of you who arnt familiar, are those shiny tombs of intellect that sit on the shelf in that part of Waterstones or Ark (i Norge) where you must were glasses and be carrying another such book to get in. In other words, find the graphic novels and then turn 180, and keep going until you reach the other side of the shop.

Be prepared to pay through every orifice people. For some strange reason, language books see fit to charge as much as a £100 pound (1000 Kr) for the privilege of learning another speaky speak. For some reason there are so many professional tourists out there (Def: Been the world over, but each visit was only for the length of a package holiday, and often just was a package holiday.) that the demand for such books goes up and hence the prices. I always thought education was meant to be free really but apparently thats socialism or something.

Teach yourself Norwegian.

This was my first book. This one made me feel all smart and invested and I admit, it was very useful. Its exercises and explanations were all semi academic (ie, not to smart, not to dum), and despite not even being in Norway it helped me prepare. However, once I got here I quickly realised I had been fooled. The book is out of date. Not like, smell bad, through away off more its granddads lingo. Language is alive, and books are designed to last. So it shouldn't be a surprise to see that the advice, grammar and many of the pronouns are no longer used by the current generations in Norway.
For example, De is the Norwegian word for they, but its use is also in a kind of royal you (or french Vous) which isnt used anymore. Also, the letter writing advice would get you called in for an interview just to check your age!

Usually priced at around £45 pounds, with CD, I would aim to get this cheaper. Its advice is mostly sound, but there is better...

Norwegian in 10 minutes a day.

AVOID AT ALL COSTS. If something is cheap and seems to good to be true, it will be cack and make you cry blood! Although it read well like a proper high school book, unfortunately it had some severe problems.
Not only did it contain many cultural errors (For example saying Jeg vil har det, is really like saying "Peasant! Give me that!" quite impolitely. Well its not that bad, but does make you seem like a poor tourist. For the record its best to say Kan jeg få det? Or even speaking in English until your sure.
Although a suitable exercise book and Ok for learning the basics quickly, DO NOT approach a Norwegian with this as your only tool. You have been warned.

På Vei.

Now this is the stuff. If you can get it. Abroad its very hard to find unless you know someone in the country, though I have heard you can buy it off the internet from Norwegian book handlers. Still it is worth the money. I got the Work book (Arbeid bok), the text book (tekstbok) and Id recommend the word book (Ordbok).
Its a lot but you get the professional set to get you started. It isnt easy because it is mostly in Norwegian but in the end, you would be surprised how helpful.
Strangely though, the CD that comes with the work book is for use with the text book, yet you also need another CD I have yet to find for use with the work book. Confused? Me too. But it is the set that a lot of Norwegian courses use over here, so there must something in it.

http://pavei.cappelen.no/

A great website that funny enough goes with the above set, is the free http://pavei.cappelen.no/ .
You can use this to play around with the language and although its more of a source of exercise and language level checking, its still useful to learn from. Give it a go! See how much you pick up!

A good rule of thumb in all of this is if the book is from Norway itself, it will more likely be uptodate and the real deal. Always avoid books designed for the aforementioned professional tourist.

Right, Im tired now, and Ive got to get my tooth drilled out again. The fun never stops! Next time Ill set up a list of bullet points of helpful advice I have gotten from friends here. If anyone wants to post a comment on the books listed here or can recommend any, feel free.

xx

Further investment and THE PLAN....

2009-08-03T06:48:00.000-07:00

Hello again.

Yes indeedy, after my very somber post last time things have once again began picking up! Although still jobless and with income from a very unreliable job, I still have faith in what I am doing. OK its more of a "leg in a bear trap" attitude really, but it works the same!

SO... what have I been doing, and what will I do next!

I just today, signed a moderate sum of money on a norsk kurs with Oslo Folkuniversitetet, trinn 2. Very delightful group of people, who tell me that not only can I back out before with only a 500Kr penalty, but I can also change level if it feels wrong. Not bad for private. Well, public charge 5000kr to the English, probably because they only want the smart money making ones. Ha! Try and stop meh!

This course though, digressing a tad, is on monday, tuesday, onsdag, and thursdag. err. You know what I mean. 48 hours of hard core Norwegian action. Four lessons a week from 1 OClock.

Just what I need. Heck, even my lovely girl Ingrid has started me on a diet of Norwegian TV! Also, my very own private teacher will be helping me get to a point where level 2 will be possible. I get a nice certificate after it too!
Lastly, with the remaining spare time I figure I will work voluntarily with the Salvation Army, and do my money earning football job in the evening. Ahhhhh Routine, where have you been!

I dare to reckon....... this will all put me in a place where getting a contractual job is possible, if not easy!
Well, nothings easy, else it wouldnt be worth it. Still, if my only problem is the language, then the answer is simple... the language must die.

Anyway, enough positive thumping from me, I'll be back soon with something a little more visual, and maybe something a little more bloggy!

Who knows?
Who knew?

Klem!

R

Investing in the future...

2009-07-27T01:30:00.000-07:00

Its been a long while since I posted last. It's been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. Allow me to explain.

The problem that is in moving to another country to stay is in what you are capable of. For me, it seems that everything is locked away until I can speak the tongue. It's understandable. Norway, as far as I can tell, has already had its era of being laid back to the lazyness of the "incomings."

Still, I digress. Of late my mind has been torn between caution and intent. Caution, telling me to keep my exit close to hand and pondering on the lovely familiar England. Then intent, telling me that there is only one problem I have to solve. The language. Something that apparently I am making fairly good headway on.

So. Eventually, the latter has won. Now I have two odd jobs to keep my money coming in, which is something considering. I am also joining a norsk kurs from Folksuniversitat in the aim to catch up with three weeks intensive courses. Either way, this is my intent.

It needs to be said though, that none of this would be even remotely possible without my girl Ingrid. Though, I do have my family back home ready to support me if I need it.

Strangely, I found out recently that I havnt contacted my family for too long. My father was worried I was on the streets! Makes you think just how easy is it to forget your not alone.

Anyway, this is a bit sombre in tone today, but hopeful. To those who know what I'm blabbering about, you're not alone. To those who don't, try it, it's not so bad to charge into something different.

My advice to anyone comming over without any erm "special skills," is to acquire as much learning on Norwegian as possible. As I said, this is really the only true obstacle in getting work here. Well, I say true obstacle. Its just as difficult as anywhere.

Anyway, thanks for reading, apologies about the lack of detail and I'll get back in touch soon.

Rik

Three weeks... (And the police are idiots...)

2009-07-07T06:37:00.001-07:00

Well, as expected but not quite in this fashion, my time here is growing short. It is a long story, so bear with me.

Last week my girl Ingrid had a rather strange phone call from the police who demanded access to her flat. She was told not to contact anyone else regarding the matter. When her flat mate turned up, the police followed her in saying not only had the place under survailance, but that they had a warrant to search the premises.

All very scary.

They never showed the warrant (though admittedly Ingrid's flat mate was so shocked by the whole ordeal that she never thought to ask!), and went to half arsed search. It was apparently evident that they had got the wrong address.

When asked, a police man apparently said:-

"we were expecting a drugs nest of Africans."

....

I'm not even going to go into how bad that one little bit of wonderful dialogue is. However, despite asking to confirm the address they WHERE IN, when told the street, the police person then repeated the WRONG street name. Then, the police continued searching for another few moments and left. Let me be clear about this. They went through all of our most personal and intimate belongings.

They also asked about me. What did they ask you say?

"How ethnic is he.
He's british.
Still, how ethic is he?
..."

Thank god they never saw me... lets just say my erm "black irish" roots make me a little of the "durka durka." Savee?

When we inquired further it turned out that the police dept handling the investigation was on the other part of outer Oslo.
WTF?!

Now I'm obvisioly missing out some details here quite frankly because I think my Ingrid and her flat mate have had their personal space invaded quite enough. But you see, there in lies the problem....

Not only is the poor old landlord worried, now the flat mate has quite understandebly decided to quit the place. She will be gone by November. Not just this, but again quite understandebly, the Land lord is showing concerns and we will now have to honour the Subteneant law by ensuring Im sorted in...

You guessed it... 3 weeks.

Do or die marine Hoohaa!
Hell, ultimetily either I will still be here and all jobbed up or Ill be going home.

So!
All quite dramatic. Very American. Sorry, I'll save the pseudo racism for the professionals shall I?

Now, I'm converting my CV into norwegian, (which was hilarious because I have the vocab of a five year old!!), and then Im visiting the local barna hager!
At this point, Im going for it. Ingrid is looking for a little somewhere for me to live alone for a few months while I look for the permanent income to pay for it! :) After all, we are team Ninja-badger-pirate!

No Ingie, we are not team hobbitz.
Ok maybe.....

Phew, rant over. Wish me luck yaal! Cant wait to see you Bloggers next 18th July! (If its still on?).

Oh and I went to Tysen Fryd!
More on this soon...

Takk!

Busy, Busy and very lost!

2009-06-24T08:07:00.000-07:00

Wow, what a week its been! Where do I start... Ah from the beginning!

Ny jobb!
So a distant relative of Ingrid's gets in contact with us about a job for me, which is spooky because noone told him I was in need of one. He speaks to me over a mobile phone from Malta, and tells me he needs me to be a Football commentator.
I'm not religious, but if God exists hes got a sense of humour alright. I'm about as football mad as a brick, though to be fair, I've known some "bricks" who were football fans.
So, as I dream about fearfully commentating like them on TV, the next day he emails me and explains its for an internet betting agents.
Still, its money.

And getting there!? Bloody hell! Not only did I get the time mixed up and thought it three hours earlier (which strangely helped), the match had been moved. I spent about 200Kr on bus travel and the ticket and if my maths is correct, spent over four hours on a bus or waiting for one.
Ouch.
Still, its money.

So, my first game? A womans match at Telanor Stadium for the fantastic Stabæk Vs Arnø-Bjørna (sp?) match. The stadium was large, with only the hardest of the hard core fans, and there was me with my big backpack (dont go anywhere without it), shouting down the phone things like "Danger Home." Etc. Went through two phones batteries and had a fantastic time.
In the end, persivearing paid off in that it felt worthwhile, and the money I'll get will pay for the travel costs at least.
Heh, now I can say I used to do this for a living.
But I'm not stopping here...

"I have a dream!"
After talking with a good friend of the family, it seems Norway is in great need of "male" teachers. Especially in kindergarten. The reason I have quoted the male there is that here in Norway they believe that both males and females need to present as a child grows up, just like in a family. Im no psychologist or whatever, but they also didnt have the massive media hyperbole we had back in the early 90's about Gary bloody Glitter and his "lot." You know what I mean.
Anyway, I figure that I want to reignite my old desire to be a teacher (stop laughing at the back!), but of course while my Norwegian is still coming along, its best to start small. Literally.
Turns out I have the basic qualifications anyway and anything I need I can learn on the way there or during.

First time I actually have a martin luther you know what I mean?

Anyway, got a fish curry to start and another match to go to.

Thanks for reading.

R

Boredom is the great enemy. (That and badgers...)

2009-06-18T08:06:00.000-07:00

Bored. Very, very bored. I knew this was always going to be my greatest enemy here in Norway but how right I was I did not know.

I recently read an article on the "immigrant spirit" of Americas golden age. Back in the days of Ellis island and all that. Having read about the determination and single mindedness, it really got my zoom back. I suppose its all about attitude, and lets face it, English culture really emphasises the put down.

On the tooth front, I am gonna need two more Operations in August it seems. Got a temp filling that feels like tip ex in my mouth. Erk. Still, at least its sorted. For 4800Kr. Not too expensive considering the prices of the wonderful British NHS. Whats more interesting is the two apointments are not until August, so I guess its another reason to make sure this move works.

Leg in a bear trap. Nothing more motivating.

Yes, yes. Anyway, my pursuit of any form of job has taken an odd angle. As language is now virtually essential, I figured I might as well do something useful with my time (as opposed to watching TV, shudder), so I have been enquiring for voluntary work at local schools. Although at the moment Im sorting out some form of income, what I really want to do is start in the education stuff.

My first email went off today to the Oslo international school. I hope I can get some good exprience while Im not doing anything with my time! Wish me luck!

On other war fronts, Ive asked Ingrids mor, to help me with my listening Norwegian. Seems I can translate written easily enough but the hearng bit I lack practice in. I wonder if setting up a "language group" of friends could work? You know get a group of people at different levels all learing the lingo, come together each week to practice talking with each other. Sounds partly stupid, partly genius. "Stupius!"

So, anyone reading this who is in Oslo and likes the idea of a "language group" let me know. Or else please feel free to through critic at me like all the mash potato.

I miss mash potato...

Toof ache....

2009-06-15T13:35:00.001-07:00

Well.... whats the one thing you dont want to happen when youve just moved to a far away strange place? Appart from being keel hauled by the rampaging and very famous badger pirates, there is also toof ache!!!

It is the one low end ailment that will stop any attempt to do the fun stuff in the day, not to mention the important stuff! Like, eating, studying norsk, sex, you know!?

ANyway, got handed this magic stuff (as opposed to the other magic stuff which was like rubbing snot in my cheek, which funnily enough warned for no "mucas membrane contact"), which helped tremendasly. Except as I later realised, its designed to stop gingervitus.

Bollocks.

ANywho, nursing myself through the third day, being reminded just how much of a pain wuss I am. (Sorry for keeping you up baby!) Its wierd, but I think I would take a bullet just to stop this. I might be wrong, but I would.

Scary.

Well, that feels much better. Thanks for reading.

The cat hates my whistle...

2009-06-12T14:04:00.000-07:00

Well as it seems my girlfriend (girl fienden? Nei, nei, nei.) likes musical instruments, ive been given a whistle to practice with. Its cheap, easy to learn and is apprently a great entry level instrument for anyone wanting to play something more like the guitar, without actually lumping out for one.

Bare Bra!

Except... My girls flat mate has a cat... and it hates my practice sessions. Seriously, the second I start she gets up and starts protesting at me. Runs off, waits until Ive stopped and then comes back in again to restart the whole process. I actually think I cause it pain!

Anyway. I kicked it out. SO! Back to the practice!
Oh and please, no whistle jokes.... I heard them all.

NEVER ASK A NORWEGIAN FOR DIRECTIONS! (Unless their on a boat)...

2009-06-12T13:00:00.000-07:00

Ahh, yes. I have finally got my damn Skatta Kort! (trans: tax card). Love walking down Schweisgate and seeing the building called Skatt. Mo, you would love it.

I digress. I recently discovered some wonderful facts:

Anyone from an EA or EAU country (I think I got this right), gets an instant visa pass to get over for up to six months. Including a temporary tax and personal code. Yay.
You dont need the whole work permit until you actually acquire a permanent job, as opposed to seasonal work etc.
NORWEGIANS CANNOT GIVE DIRECTIONS!!!!!!

Allow me to explain the last factoid as I want to get this off my chest.

I was looking for the place where I acquire my work permit. Think like a job centre. Only I was told by a reliable source (humph), that this was simply the local police station (aka politihuset or sumin). Heres what happened.

Police station No 1, Tøyen. Good man at reception gives me directions to a location which later turned out to be a good way away from his pointing hand. Think like 90 frakin degrees!
After wandering for an hour around Schweirsgate (ring a bell?), I walked along the road following his misguided instructions by looking on the right hand side of the road! Walked all the way into Oslo. On foot. Before giving up.
Went to the tourist informasjonen and pleaded my case while having Norwegian trolls tend to my feet blisters (though I suspect I was hallucinating. I hope so.), got map and marker to show me the way!
Went back to last location and following the map, stared at a building for some time wondering why such a service would be in an empty building which technically wasnt on the map to begin with! After asking in the local Kommune building, and waiting for fifteen minutes, I was told I was no where near were I needed to be. Showing the work permit forms I got another map marker and directions. I also got told it wasnt my fault I was British. Nice.
Neste! I followed the instructions to the UDi building in Olso Sentrum and found myself amidst asylum seekers and pleading failed immigrants. Lots of people, lots, and I lost count of the many languages and cultures there. After realising that I was going to be waiting for well, a day, I began reading leaflets. Lone behold! I found one saying ahem: "Any EA or EAU citizens may apply for work permits via the local police stations." Growling more than I probably should, I stormed out heading to the police station down the road. (The Udi building was actually the first set of directions I recieved apparently)
When I got there I was greeted by a fantastic young lady who calmly explained that I actually needed to go around the corner to the utenlander department wot not, but.... they were closed today....
Next day! (Three days in) I headed out nice and early and went in like a shot... to find out I was in the wrong place. I thought the english past time of dragging a policeman across the desk wouldnt have gone down well so I calmly followed his directions and made sure to kick a puppy on the way out. (What? I kid! It was a cat).
Following the next directions and trying not to get lost among the growing markers on my now very bone weary map, I found it. Right back on Scwheisgate. On the left side. I went in. I queued up and within a few moments I was sorted. Except I didnt need a work permit anyway...

If you think actually reading this tragic tale of a man in a strange land was hard, TRY DOING IT!

I believe that genetically, the races of Scandawegia (meh), have become so adept at seasmanship and sea navigation, that they have become completly inept at land based navigation. Much like in England, as our skills in drinking ourselves into footnotes of Darwins theory of natural selection (as in the "we wont be in the next chapter bit"), we become absolutly crap at well, all sports. Just look at Arsenal if you dont believe me.

Phew. Well I dont know about you, but I feel much better. SO...
If you are looking for directions in Norway (and you are on land), DONT ASK A LOCAL!
You have been warned.

Invasion commencing - Establish beach head.

2009-06-02T12:48:00.000-07:00

Well I'm here. I arrived last Friday and I've been here for four days now. I'm still holding my breath so to speak, as it hasn't sunk in yet that I'm not on holiday. Though the last few days have certainly felt like it!

First thing after landing in Torp airport (and then going onto the longest coach ride ever! - Thanks for making it interesting Naveen!), me and Ingie went straight to the local park and frolliked on the swings like a pair of emo fukwits. Very fun! Definitely going to have to do this more often. I even got to borrow this fantastic jacket with a Kiss logo on the front (Of which certain people back home will doubtless kill me for - you know who you are...).
Onto the Dubliner for an evening session of folk music drawn from both English, Irish, Scottish and even Welsh styles. The Dubliner by the way is an awesome "Pub, Pub." As in not a wine bar. Sorry Wetherspoons, you fail. Drinks are not cheap but the atmosphere is bloody priceless. Expecially as little Miss Ingie was part of the session crew, singing amongst expert fiddlers, whistlists (sp?), and erm, guitarists etc. You get the idea. Anyway, I ended up babysitting a very energetic young half Scot half Norwegian who knew little English. I think he learn't as much from me as I did him as we tried to make sense of one another.

Sunday saw ups and downs in a terrifying 40 deg sun, queuing up for a massive swimming pool, open air called Frognerparken, only to find the big pool was closed until Monday. Damned if I was paying 15 quid to get in. Still, we found a quiet spot in the park and relaxed. Not half bad.
For the evenings entertainment we went back to the Dubliner for another session as above. There Ingie introduced me to a friend of hers, a f***ing brilliant bloke who I'll call R, who had moved over from Scotland some 15 years prior. He offered to show me the way to deal with the work forms, how to play the whistle and show off his sailing boat!

On Monday we retried to visit Frognerparken's swimming pools and it was well worth it! Heat enough for an insta-tan, warm semi chloreend pool (as in less Chlorine than us brits use) and finding out that not swimming in twelve years can cause hilarity. Doggy Paddle for the save. I'd forgotten how great an excercie swimming was!
Oh and had more of the Norwegian hot dogs (with cheese in the middle - oh yeah!).

Today, the aforementioned sailing! Never been in a sail driven boat on the open sea. Seeing R's missus panick as we Keeled and went sideways was fantastick. As far as I was concerned, if R wasnt panicking I sure as hell wasn't going to. (Well... show it at least). Learnt a hell of a lot that day, and I saw my first Moose, a calf that thought it was a dolphin as it swam between the islands in the Fjord. Crazy.

Now, for the technical bit, I.e. Making a permanent stay here possible, I've decided to do the following: I'm going to break down any future posts into three categories, keeping it all as organized as I could. Really, this just represents the three most important things in staying here, the language, the job and the bloody social life (ie, have fun etc and not go crazy).

Language.
Ok, adding onto what I have learnt in books and previous visits, thanks to Mr R, I've got a place to check out for a course to go on. He never found much use, but he's still relativly fluent after two years. I think I'll try it!

Job.
Got a part time thingy next weekend to get me started. But, I now have a few connections even before I've been able to bother the local job agencies. Still, got a few lined up once I've sorted out my buerocrap.

Social life!
Made some great friends, some I already new, others I've already met. Strangelt most of them are people from the UK and Ireland living abroad. Others are Norwegians who've been exposed to the wonders of above said countries. Excellent.

Anywho, that will do for now I think. I'll be putting up a few links for the places I'm going to next time I get chance to sit down at my laptop for more than a few seconds!

Miss you all!

Folk Museum!

2009-05-07T10:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, lots of pics in this one. I'm still compiling all the photos from my last four day venture. God damn I love my K800 phone.

This is the entrance to the inside part of the folk museum. The outside stretches the area bigger than liverpoool city centre!

It had all sorts of news paper clippings, items and general stuff taking us back through the last few decades. Strangely, along side things such as Aha's big break into Brit pop, sat news on the Falklands war. Our countries certainly take an interest in each other.
Still, it was awesome to see an example of my old Commodore 64, the Xwing fighter from the eighties and duck hunt for the Nes. How much we take for granted.

I'm a city boy apparently, as told to me by a young lad called Nicky. I saw the ants below and freaked. Well not freaked but got a bit shocked. Let me make this clear. The average Norwegian ant is about three times the size of our smaller British cousin. It has a bright red back (fire ants anyone?) and are those ones that build giant mounds against trees.

Can you see them?

Here are some of the older buildings that were either built on site or actually transported from their original homes. You see the Norse peoples kept there old homes in such good nick the didn't need to make recreations at all. Kind of puts McDonalds' pre-fab buildings to shame really considering.

Ok. I found my natural talent in this one. Turns out I have a pretty good sense of balance as I discovered when I tried my luck on these stilts.
Maybe I should get some?

In the building below they had some kind of flat lommerbrod (sp?), which was made using the traditional style using a fire, hot rock, two wooden knives the size of my arms and a lot of flour. Slightly sweet and disturbingly addictive.
Recommened.

Quick quiz. Can anyone guess what this is? Beautifully modeled by Ingrid. :)
Answer in the next post.

Tea! I need my cup of tea! (Trans: Jeg trenger kopp ta! Well I think thats right..)

2009-05-06T10:49:00.000-07:00

On this day, I was invited to meet up with Ingrid's mother and aunt in Oslo itself. They took me to a fantastic tea and cake kinda place in a square called Wessel's plass. I forget the name of the place but as it was described to me as formerly very high class, but now enjoyed by many.

After that I went about town.

Seriously though, check out the Marzipan cake below.
Shiz!

Awwwwww.........

Can you see the family resemblance?
I think its in the smile :)

Ahh the famous Norwegian Kaldtbord, open sandwiches for us brits. The idea is probably enjoyed by many lazy folk around the world, but this my friends is an art form.

Oslo was described by some old writer (who actually hated the place) as a city of tigers. He was in-fact commenting on the cities previous reputation for vice and how it would leave a dirty mark on your soul.
Don't know what that guy was smoking frankly, but hey, that was written back in the 19th century. Heh, its the first place I've been in where the locals could say "things arn't what they used to be" in a positive spin!

Love you Liverpool ;)

Hell I've always found Oslo a super "common sense" place decorated with dozens of funky alternative stores, traditional and historical sites and a sense of identity that knows who it is and is damn comfertable with it.

Ironically, some arty kids thought it would be well, ironic, if they planted a giant bronze tiger in-front of the main railway station.
Some don't agree that this is smart or even funny.
What do you think?
And what would Liverpool's patron animal be? And dont say the liverbird, please!

Good kitty...

See that Balloon below? That's advertising, Norwegian style.
I think the next one advertised wonder bra (I wish...)

Botanical madness!

2009-05-05T12:50:00.000-07:00

Ahh, plants and trees. Everything I have been avoiding in my life. Yet... the botanical garden in Toyen was beautiful. Six years ago I would have been racing around trying to drag my parents away so I could go and play crazy golf or something bright and flashy.

Still, I'm sure you will agree, it aint bad for the middle of May. 15 degrees sun, cool breeze, sushi outdoors and discovering a type of bird you had never seen or heard of before. I know, but the notion just never struck me really. Did you know their crows have white bits?

Veldi Gal!

:)

The preliminary go-over (PICS!)

2009-05-04T13:14:00.000-07:00

Here are some pics from my most recent visit and my last "visit" before moving over and beginning the painful process!
Ahem.

These fist pics were all taken on the coach from Torp Airport. 15 Degrees in the sun, it was the first time I had seen Norway's countryside at daytime.

Ok, now where was I?

2009-05-04T10:57:00.000-07:00

I've finished copying the diary enteries I put on facebook during my few stays over in Oslo. I took the time to go through all the fantastic support and interest I had from that too. Makes me feel awesome inside.

Truly though, putting the notion that I'm some sort of "Forlorn hope" or something, I do hope other people give this a go. Especially while they can. Whats the worst that can happen? Excluding rampant badgers etc. Thats just stupid.

Seriously though, thanks to all who gave me that boost of confidence!
Hope I continue to provide some sort of entertainment.

Rik

Taste of Norway part five (As taken from Facebook)

2009-05-04T10:55:00.000-07:00

Hi guys,

I had a very strange and wonderful evening last night. I was lucky enough to be invited to Ingrid's brothers birthday party (he's 30 now poor soul), which turned out to be very enlightening. Imagine it. 15 people, friends and close family, each one knows at least two languages. Three of them know around five. Here I was with my two: English and baaaad English.
Thankfully they didnt always speak in English for me. Why am I being thankful? Simply this, I want to learn. It can be done, but the trouble for us English speaking folk lies in the fact that most Europeon countries teach English as a second language and do it properly!
I'm glad they were reluctant to dum it all down for me, not because I was a guest but because I should know another language. I shouldn't simply sit down and say 'well they know English so I don't need to bother.' I had a fantastic conversation with three individuals: Nico, a Haitian who learnt English to speak to his now wife, who knows french, creol and Norwegian. Sigsbjeorn (Hi bestefar!), an academic in languages who knew more about the history of language than I thought possible. And, finally, Bernard: A French man who despite being funny and incurably charismatic was still French, so I have to beat him at Trivial pursuit (apparently about as likely as me competing in the high jump.) Oh Bernard knew about at least three languages, so I have to learn three now too... Viv la France....;)
Point is, I saw a world beyond and I wonder whether (as a good friend Roy Calder once said), that British culture makes us self depreciate ourselves. Make us unable to achieve, go further. I'm beginning to see what he was taking about.
If you have never done it and you still can (i.e. dependents depending), then get out there and get somewhere else, anywhere. If not to see what that place is like then to compare it to home and see what home is "really" like.

Later the next day I was out at the viking ship museum, looking at three vessels over 1000 years old and the single solid evidence we have about the infamous vikings. Its amazing how much we apparently know about them came from so little. Thank god I had my camcorder with me.
I also noticed the air is dry here, maybe thats why they call it 'Norwegian formula hand cream?' :)

ANyway, that's my nightly rant for today.
Thanks for reading.
Rik. (Jeg Hetair Rik! Jeg er Britisk! I HATE CRABS LISA STOP SAYING IT!) :)
xxx

Taste of Norway part four (As taken from Facebook)

2009-05-04T10:50:00.000-07:00

07 November 2008

Hello readers! Thank you all for the complements.

Anyway.
Today I discovered another lovely thing about Norway. The rain.
The temperature dropped today during the rain, which you could actually see turn to sleet!
Saw more of Oslo city, this time the other half as Ingrid showed me the civil defense museum. Got to see what gun my grandad used during the war. :). You can buy shell casings here as big as my forearm! Not to mention surplus materials at cheap prices. Don't think I could get some of those through British customs mind you. And they had three tanks (decommissioned I later worked out) decorating the area. T34, T72 and another rusky tank i think...

The dubliner, a gigantic pub much like the Irish pubs Oneil in Liverpool. Great food! If not expensive. 42 squid for two main course and two pints of Guinness (£7 a pint, well 1/2 liter). Like I said, food is expensive here, especially unhealthy and unnecessary food like chocolate (1.20 for a Mars bar equiv). Yet pastries the size of my hand are 80p!

Everything is in a way, rationed here. The basic mentality of the culture I believe must have been born from the early days where eeeking a living meant being sparse with everything. Even such things as smiles are few, but this is because they are worth more. Insincerity and begging are a big faux pa. If someone shakes your hand and says they are happy to meet you THY MEAN IT. Also, A gift here is a gift. Try and meet it and risk offending the other person. Its a gift, its not asking for something in return.

Damn it gets dark quick. Anyway, batteries running low and I cant be bothered running for the power cable. I'm on holiday!! Cant wait to see you all again. Noticed you are getting a lovely 10 degrees back home. Just hit Freezing here, literally.

Hvordan gaar det?
Rik

Taste of Norway part three (As taken from Facebook)

2009-05-04T10:49:00.000-07:00

06 November 2008

Right. Done something today.
They say that the truth will set you free. In this case, it seems that the freedom set the truth.
While Ingrid was working her last day at work (shes between jobs), I decided to go on a little adventure into Oslo city centre.
Sounds simple enough.
Of course, after staring at a map in Toyan subway station for ten minutes, only to be joined by two Italians who were just as stuck, just to realise any train would do!
Oh well.
Oslo city. What could I honestly say about the place, based on a comparison to my blessed dearest Liverpool. I'll break it down.

No scallies. Thats right. None, though there were other problems, see below.

Poverty. It took me a while to notice that Oslo has a massive influx of immigrants living homeless on the streets while they find work in the docks or move on. They are hard to work because they dont hassle you for money for drug habits (like I said, comparison to Liverpool).

Politeness. There are few zebra crossings as such. No need, as traffic always stop if someones waiting to cross. Its strange to me, used as I am to evading cars Jason Bourne fashion. I even witnessed a car performing a perfect emergency stop just to let someone cross!

Impoliteness. Two sides to every coin. While the roads might be safer to cross, the people of Oslo seem nonplussed with making way out of politeness. Not once did I hear excuse me, or thank you or anything (yes, even in norweigan). Apparently, after asking around, this is because such things are reserved for family and friends and as such mean MORE to them than it does to us. Apparently while we see the Norse as being cold, they see us as being insincere our politeness forced and not well meant. They may have a point.

Taste of Noway part deux (As taken from Facebook)

2009-05-04T10:48:00.000-07:00

06 November 2008

Ok, now I am starting to notice the cold here. Its different to English cold, drier, doesnt soak into the cloths you wear more bits anything open to air. (did that rhyme?)
Finally got a local sim card working in a crappy old Nokia (which Ingrid loves very much so I'll have to be careful :))
Yesterday was mostly uneventful, stayed in and watched movies which I most certainly did not download. Leg was giving me hassle, gonna have the thing replaced with a cheetahs when i get back.
My Norwegian is getting better every day.
Jeg vil snakken Norshk Na Jeg Kun. But I'm still making those wonderfully British mistakes.
Still no yorkshire pudding...
Yesterday I also met Ingrid's parents again, they're house is amazing! Lots of old stuff, books etc, which they have far more appreciation for then we do. Grand father clock et al! Food was gorgeous, and I realized that sometimes, trying to eat everything is bad. I've seriously got to cut down my portion size :).

Anyway, today I'm going around town on my own, armed with a local mobile, and get you by Norshk. Lets see how I do eh?

Until next time!
Hada Bra!
Rik.

Norway, a first impression (as taken from Facebook)

2009-05-04T10:47:00.000-07:00

04 November 2008

Well, I've had my first day here, already used 260 Crowns! Still, the sight flying over the fjord (the big river like opening) was simply amazing. At night, you really get to see where everyone lives.
Still, the flight was longer than expected because I don't work well with international times! Then, I left my laptop in the baggage area of this huge coach (which turned out to be wifi capable!) and traveled a further hour and a half! SO all and all, last midnight I was tired and hungry.

Then, after food and sleep, I found the good news. Ingrid's apartment (renting at £400 approx), is big. And, its professionally made. Starting to hate British constructions already.
Went to work with Ingrid, which was, well boring. Only the red headed beau company kept me from going insane while I got to know the area and started picking up the speech. (more on that later).
QUick side hit, Norwegians have got it down with hot dogs. Jesus H Christ! Bratwurst with bacon rolled around it! Half the fat of British counterparts! And they have Norweigan Scouse... which tastes very similar to scouse scouse.

Anyway, missing my family and my friends (including the Cex Lords! Hi guys!).
I'm off to a pub! (that's right, they've got them too.)
Until next time,
Rik.

The story so far...

2009-05-04T10:39:00.001-07:00

Ok, so this Blog was created after I started taking this venture so seriously. However, I will firstly post up (via the art of copy and paste) the previous musings I made during my initial visits. Specifically, I usually try and note all those weird little differences that I found between the cultures. I'm no personologist person, but well.... meh.

Ahhhh Velkommen til Norge! But not yet...

2009-05-04T10:00:00.001-07:00

Hi! Hei and welcome. You will be witness to either a fantastic success story of one common as muck Brit making a new life abroad, or trying to.

I will ask the question: Can it be done?
I'll be recording my antics here, hopefully as a lesson of what to do, or... not what to do.
We shall see....

In the beginning...three months ago...
From what was originally a romantic story (guy meets girl, girl is Norwegian and has to go home....), came the decision that many average Brits simply never even think about making:

I am going to move to Norway.

Lets get this into perspective. I have no friends and family over there (well I didn't), no money making talents, no preset job arrangements and most certainly no language knowledge. SO! Why do it? It could be that my beloved girlfriend is over there and I'm not. It could be that I am so bored with life here that I want a change? Or it could be that I want to at least say I tried to do it. Not many can say they've done that!

Anyway!
Emmigration day is 29th May! Tickets have been bought! I have bought the tickets!

Key points of interest then: -
Language
Job (or jobs)
Place to live
Yorkshire Puddings.

Oh, yeah, there are NO YORKSHIRE PUDDINGS in Norway...